Monthly Archives: January 2016

#231- There’s Something About Mary

Quick recap: In the screwballiest of screwball comedies, There’s Something About Mary is about a guy (Ted) in love with a girl (Mary).

thumb-350-342572

Ben Stiller as a high school kid will haunt me for a long while

Fun(?) fact: Lee Evans (who plays Tucker) has the most godawful British accent but as it turns out, he is actually British and just exaggerated what he normally sounds like. Actors!

 My thoughts: Hello. My name is Mary. YEAH. This movie came out when I was in middle school and has been the bane of my existence ever since then. Not that I needed more fuel for people to tease me about my name- ‘Hey Mary, how does your garden grow?’ ‘Hey, Mary, where’s your lamb?’ ‘Hey, Mary, are you proud?’ ‘Mary Me!’ (actually, that one was kind of funny). The point is, I hated this movie just for that reason and I’m glad to say that now I can hate it because it is the WORST.

All you really need to know about There’s Something About Mary is that it is directed by the Farrelly brothers, who are known for such gems as Shallow Hal, Osmosis Jones and Dumb and Dumber. Now, I have nothing against lowbrow comedy or even the Farrelly brothers in general. I have seen Dumb and Dumber many times and certain scenes still make me laugh. The difference though is that that movie had heart where this one just has jokes about masturbation and killing a dog. Yes, there is a love story but just barely. It’s mostly just a vehicle to get to the gross out stuff and making fun of people who are disabled. I never bought into the whole Ted/Mary dynamic mainly because there wasn’t much there. There is one scene where the two sit around and talk about more meat products needing to be on sticks. This turned out to be a joke that Seinfeld was going to use originally but decided against it so the Farrelly brothers bought it. These guys suck.

And as for the ending, which I’m going to go ahead and spoil because screw you if you want to watch this after my review, it turns out that EVERY guy is in love with Mary. There is a zany cast of suitors throughout the movie with the reveal at the end that Mary’s crazy high school boyfriend, Woogie, is Ted’s best friend and his been patiently waiting for his chance. I cried in despair upon realizing that I had been duped by the Farrelly brothers and hadn’t seen the twist ahead of time. The other reveal that Mary’s ex, Brett, was actually Brett Favre didn’t send me into quite as big a shame spiral, but I was still pretty broken up about the whole thing. Please don’t watch this movie.

Final review: 1/5. I guess you could call this the height of screwball comedies, which just means that it gets much, much worse.

Up next: Cleansing my palette with The Godfather

1 Comment

#230- Pan’s Labyrinth

Thank you to Sam for recommending this movie! I know you could’ve chosen LOTR but I appreciate the restraint 🙂 

Quick recap: A young girl growing up during the Francoist Period in Spain enters a fantasy world to escape her frightening real life situation.

Pans-Labyrinth

jazz hands!

Fun (?) fact: In literally every other country except America,this movie is known as ‘The Labyrinth of the Faun’, which makes way more sense.

frog

All glory to the Hypnotoad

My thoughts: Boy, was this a dark movie. I remember the depressing ending from when I watched it a few years ago but I was still a little taken aback by its bleakness. Then again, this is directed by Guillermo del Toro so no one should go into this expecting rainbows and sunshine. Or go ahead and believe that. I’m not here to tell you how to live your life.

It’s hard to describe why I loved Pan’s Labyrinth so much because I lack all those fancy words that real film reviewers use, but I’ll try my best. To me, the world that del Toro created in the movie felt real. It went beyond creating a creepy set and cast of characters and it moved into something that truly had life. At first I was like, ‘Can’t Ofelia at least catch a break in her OWN MADE UP WORLD?’ but the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. This girl has seen stuff and like many kids, uses her imagination to try and make her situation better. But even then, you can’t ever really escape and so her fantasy world is completely intertwined with her real world. Which makes this movie ten times more depressing, honestly.

While looking up trivia for the film I came across several theories about the meaning or theme of the movie. Of course there is the religious element, which I usually shoot down because people think they see Jesus everywhere (mostly in toast). And there is the theme of good vs. evil, which a) seems too simple for a movie like this and b) once again, this theme is in everything. I didn’t bother to read too much into what I watched and instead just enjoyed the story. I trust that del Toro put in a bunch of symbols but I like that Pan’s Labyrinth can also be taken at face value as a (very depressing) fairy tale.

Also- war is hell, man.

Final review: 5/5

Up next: There’s Something About Mary

5 Comments

#229- Pulp Fiction

Quick recap: Told out of order, Pulp Fiction interweaves stories about hit men, a boxer and a couple about to rob a diner.

simpsons-movie-references-43

Fun (?) fact: To prepare for the role, John Travolta researched what it was like to be on heroin and was told to down a bottle of Tequila and then get in a hot tub. The more you know, kids!

large

My thoughts: Let me tell you, this has probably been the hardest review I’ve ever written. Not because the movie is bad or anything, but because what could I possibly add to something so perfect? Pulp Fiction is a masterpiece and I have yet to run into anyone who doesn’t like it. It’s Tarantino’s best, hands down and every moment is gold.

I had the opportunity to watch Pulp Fiction on the big screen at the Alamo Drafthouse and I’m so glad I did because that’s how it’s meant to be seen. It was a Quote Along, which I was initially hesitant about but then warmed up to the idea once I was given a cap gun and a syringe pen. It’s been awhile since I had last seen the movie so I wasn’t sure I would be able to remember many of the ‘quotable’ lines, but once it began, it didn’t matter. There’s just something wonderfully cathartic about saying ‘motherfucker’ with about 100 other people.

Yes, there is a lot of violence and language but I’m not really sure what you were expecting from a Tarantino film, if that sort of thing bothers you. I wouldn’t use the word ‘gratuitous’ to describe the killing, especially compared to his newest, Hateful Eight. I think I was most surprised by how perfectly everything fit together. Every line said, every gun fired was necessary. Pulp Fiction has a lot of ‘rambling’ anecdotes but somehow it just works. I loved this film when I first saw it years ago and I think I’m even more in love now.

giphy

Final review: 5/5

Up Next: Pan’s Labyrinth

Leave a comment

#228- Duck Soup

Thank you to Andy (that guy I married that one time) for recommending this movie and helping me to appreciate Looney Tunes just a bit more. 

Quick recap: Rufus T. Firefly (played by Groucho Marx) is put in charge of the fictional country of Freedonia. Shenanigans- as well as hijinks- ensue.

giphy.gif

Fun (?) fact: Duck Soup is one of the few films where Harpo Marx doesn’t play a harp and now I want my money back.

tumblr_mxr8bjC37P1qzssovo1_400.gif

My thoughts: As hard as I may try, there isn’t much for me to add to Duck Soup. It was funny, although there were so many jokes and goofs that I probably missed some really good ones. So instead, I’m going to rank the Marx Brothers!

4)

Zeppo Marx, 1933

Zeppo Marx, 1933

He played the ‘straight man’ in Duck Soup and shortly after this movie was released, quit acting altogether. Fun fact- Zeppo Marx’s least favorite Marx brother is Zeppo Marx.

3)

adolph_marx_harpo

Harpo Marx

This one is controversial, I know ( shut up, Andy), but my reasoning is this- HIS NAME IS HARPO AND HE DIDN’T PLAY THE HARP. All throughout Duck Soup, Harpo ran around cutting stuff with scissors. It was funny but also a little disturbing. Given the chance of watching another movie, I’m sure he would win me over but he’d damn well better have that harp next time.

3)

chico-marx-sm

Chico Marx

Fun fact- I didn’t even know there was a Chico Marx (or a Zeppo). Chico won me over with his weird Italian (?) accent and sharp comedic timing. I loved the scenes when he and Groucho would argue about something and very quickly change sides. Maybe lesser known of the Marx brothers, but I’d love to see more.

1)

Gummo2

Gummo Marx

Ok, but really, it’s Groucho. Of course it is. Dude’s a genius. Maybe I wasn’t rolling on the floor laughing (or ROFL for all you youngsters out there), but I appreciated his craft. I’ve seen so many impressions of Groucho that it was refreshing to see the real deal. Back to the timing, it was perfect. And before you have a chance to recover from one joke or think too long about it, he has another 5 ready to go. The physical comedy isn’t usually my favorite but I could watch the mirror scene over and and over and not get tired of it.

Final review: 4/5, only because the musical element was a little weird and threw me off when they started singing.

Up next: Pulp Fiction at the Drafthouse!

Leave a comment