#386- Neco z Alenky (Alice)

Quick recap: The classic story of Alice in Wonderland, if told by David Lynch and David Cronenberg. Probably not for children.

If this creeps you out, just wait!

Fun (?) fact: Unlike traditional stop motion films, Alice did not use any miniature sets for its effects.

Imagine a full size this!

Thoughts and observations:

I had a nightmare after watching this movie and it’s really no wonder I’m not more traumatized considering:

  • The white rabbit is full of sawdust and enjoys eating what leaks out of him
  • The movie takes place in a run down house where even the leaves piled up inside are somehow menacing
  • Whatever this is:

  • Alice turning into a life-size porcelain doll which she has to escape from

I could easily come up with 10 more examples but I think you get the point. This version of Alice in Wonderland is no fairytale. Director Jan Svankmajer envisioned something along the lines of an ‘amoral dream’ and he certainly was successful. I tend to have very vivid dreams and watching Alice’s journey trigged something familiar inside of me. I don’t know what that says about my brain but I can completely relate to this version. I especially loved the end when Alice woke up and saw all the parts of her dream surrounding her: the playing cards, the tarts and the stones. And then in the final scene she looks over and sees that the taxidermied white rabbit did actually bust out of his cage. She grabs a pair of scissors and says ‘off with his head’. I LOVE that the Alice in this movie is not a sweet girl but instead mischievous and sometimes just outright violent. I found myself both rooting for her and also enjoying when she got her comeuppance.

Watchability score: 4/5, if you can handle it

Up next: Chimes at Midnight

 

#377- The Ten Commandments

Quick recap: This movie is basically the story of Moses you remember from church, except with some love subplots thrown in for fun.

Except for this movie because it takes place in the Old Testament

Fun (?) fact: The special effects for this film were groundbreaking for their time, even though they look quite silly today. My favorite special effect is the hail that was actually popcorn painted white.

The parting of the Red Sea always made me sad as a kid because I imagined the fish were freaking out

Mary’s Ten Commandments for the film Ten Commandments:

  1. When casting for a film about the Middle East, thou shalt cast as many white people as thou can.

2. Thou shall not lust after Moses but Ramses II instead, as his is shirtless throughout the entire film.

3. Although the movie is almost 4 hours long, thou must only show 3 of the 10 plagues, and when showing the                plagues thou shalt make the blood as close to the consistency of Kool-Aid as possible.

4. In place of the other 7 plagues, thou shalt stuff as ridiculous a love plot as thou can cometh up with.

5. Thou shalt also record a message of director Cecil B. de Mille justifying said love plot because of research,                 not because of monetary reasons.

6. Thou shalt include a score that I will hum incessantly for all of time.

***side note**** My band in high school did a mash up show of music from the Ten Commandments and the Prince of Egypt. I haven’t touched a French Horn in years but I still remember most of the fingerings.

7. Charleton Heston must keep the same tone throughout the film, whether he is wooing a girl or condemning                the Tribes.

8. Thou shalt spend 3 weeks filming the orgy scene at the end of the film so as to teach what not to do. Or                      something  like that.

9. Thou shalt show the back breaking work of the slaves but also make me really want to stomp in mud and straw          for a little bit.

10. Thou shalt murder as freely as thou like as long as you are God and/if you are murdering an Egyptian.

Final review: 4/5. I was able to watch this film in its entirety with little to no boredom. The story was familiar but it has been awhile since I’ve heard it so the plot kept me on my toes. The plagues were gruesome enough and although the special effects were cheesy, this was the 50s and everyone tried their best.

Up next: Rain Man

 

 

 

 

#374- Toy Story

Quick recap: A space ranger and a cowboy find out they can be friends despite their differences.

credit: Sushio

Fun (?) fact: The carpet in Sid’s house has the same design as the carpet from the Overlook Hotel in the Shining

My thoughts and observations (in no particular order):

  • I almost wish I hadn’t watched Toy Story 4 a few nights before viewing the original because one can’t exist without the other. Would Toy Story be as great if it was a stand alone film?
  • I remember freaking out about the details when I watched the original in theaters many years ago. The scuff marks on the door! The texture of Rex the Dinosaur! Even now, the digital graphics are impressive.
  • …….Except for the humans. All of them are frightening, especially Andy. Pixar would’ve been better off doing a Headless Nanny thing, a la Muppet Babies.

  • Something else that doesn’t hold up? The music. On one hand, I’m glad no one burst into song but on the other hand, did we really have to go with Randy Newman? He sounds like a parody of himself.
  • I still want to go to Pizza Planet. There’s a version of the restaurant at Walt Disney World but it’s not the same by a long shot

Final review: 3/5. I think this number would’ve been higher had there not been the sequels to carry out the story further. This is the origin and it does it’s job setting up the characters but it’s just not as funny as the other movies and doesn’t showcase all that Pixar is capable of.

Up next: The Ear

 

#366- Tabu: A Story of the South Pacific

Quick recap: Matahi and Reri are lovers who live in paradise. Everything is perfect, except for the fact that Reri has been chosen as a Forever Virgin as sacrifice to the gods. Oops.

Finally sinking in how messed up this whole thing is

Fun (?) fact: I assumed ‘Tabu’ to either be a lost island in the South Pacific, or some very complicated ritual a select group of natives followed. Turns out, it literally means ‘taboo’, as in, Reri becomes off-limits, or tabu, to other men. What a let down.

look at that………scenery!

 

My thoughts: Do you remember when you first discovered National Geographic magazine? You were probably in 5th grade or maybe middle school and the first time you opened one up you told yourself it was just for the articles since you wanted to be an archeologist after all. But inevitably there was always, ALWAYS some photo shoot about an Amazonian tribe who had never heard of the concept of clothes and that, unfortunately, would be the exact second your teacher chose to walk by. That, my friends, is how this movie felt to watch. I tried my best to pay attention to the plot as best as I could but like that very first National Geographic photo spread many years ago, the tribe….aesthetic…..was hard to ignore.

Despite this movie being made in 1931, it’s not the worst when it comes to representing an indigenous tribe. Director FW Murnau filmed in the South Pacific and hired mostly locals. The beginning of Tabu is about as stereotypical as you can get with youths running around naked and just enjoying nature. But at the same time, it just didn’t feel exploitative . It surprised me how a silent film about a non-white group of people could come off as so humane. For example, there is a huge feast for Reri before she heads out to be a Forever Virgin (meaning no man can ever look or touch her again) and of course the girl is absolutely devastated. I loved how fed up the elder was that he had to deal with such drama, but it felt realistic. And so did Reri and Matahi’s relationship. They really seemed to care for each other, even though both were super näive when it came to being an adult.

As I went over the basic facts with my nine year old the next morning, as I sometimes do, I realized that this is actually a very tragic film. Almost 90 year old spoiler alert: Matahi and Reri run away to a different island only to be tracked down by the elder rather quickly. He threatens to kill Matahi if the girl doesn’t give in to her fate and she finally agrees because she loves him so much. Matahi refuses to give up however and follows her ship as far as he can until he finally succumbs to exhaustion and drowns. So basically the movies ends on a downer, except for the gods, who finally got their Forever Virgin.

Final review: 3/5. The nudity is pretty good too.

Up next: Cairo Station