Tag Archives: adventure

#391- Gallipoli

Quick recap: The tale of two Australians who go off to fight in World War 1…..and it does not go well.

And stars a hot and sweaty Mel Gibson

Fun (?) fact: ANZAC Day was originally observed to honor the Australian and New Zealand soldiers who died in the Gallipoli campaign but is now a day to remember all those who died during war.

physically hot, not attractively hot. He was probably an anti-semitic jerk even back then

Thoughts and observations: 

As has become the standard PSA on this blog, war is hell. Gallipoli is no exception of course, so let’s see just how hellish the movie gets:

  • takes place during World War 1, one of the most hellish wars to date (1 POINT)
  • The characters are fictional but I got attached nonetheless and didn’t want anyone to die (1/2 POINT)
  • One of those characters was played by Mel Gibson (-5 POINTS)
  • The actual battle scene only takes place the last 20 minutes or so of the film (-1 POINT)
  • There are SO MANY dead bodies and the death is realistic (2 POINTS)
  • The English bungle everything and have Australian blood on their hands (1 POINT)
  • The training scenes take place in Cairo, against the backdrop of the pyramids ( beautiful setting but worth 0 POINTS)
  • The final scene is of the main character dying a most honorable death (3 POINTS)

So, based on the point system I created just this very second, Galipoli is certified ‘pretty freaking hellish’.

I was surprised by how much time was spent on getting to know the characters and learning about their love of sprinting. I kept wondering when it would be important to the battle and it definitely paid off in the final few scenes. And by saving the gory stuff for the very end, I was lured into a false sense of security that maybe this would be a successful battle and everyone would be ok. Like I said, pretty freaking hellish.

Watchability score: 4/5. Also some choice nudity if that is your thing

Up next: Journey to Italy

 

 

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#386- Neco z Alenky (Alice)

Quick recap: The classic story of Alice in Wonderland, if told by David Lynch and David Cronenberg. Probably not for children.

If this creeps you out, just wait!

Fun (?) fact: Unlike traditional stop motion films, Alice did not use any miniature sets for its effects.

Imagine a full size this!

Thoughts and observations:

I had a nightmare after watching this movie and it’s really no wonder I’m not more traumatized considering:

  • The white rabbit is full of sawdust and enjoys eating what leaks out of him
  • The movie takes place in a run down house where even the leaves piled up inside are somehow menacing
  • Whatever this is:

  • Alice turning into a life-size porcelain doll which she has to escape from

I could easily come up with 10 more examples but I think you get the point. This version of Alice in Wonderland is no fairytale. Director Jan Svankmajer envisioned something along the lines of an ‘amoral dream’ and he certainly was successful. I tend to have very vivid dreams and watching Alice’s journey trigged something familiar inside of me. I don’t know what that says about my brain but I can completely relate to this version. I especially loved the end when Alice woke up and saw all the parts of her dream surrounding her: the playing cards, the tarts and the stones. And then in the final scene she looks over and sees that the taxidermied white rabbit did actually bust out of his cage. She grabs a pair of scissors and says ‘off with his head’. I LOVE that the Alice in this movie is not a sweet girl but instead mischievous and sometimes just outright violent. I found myself both rooting for her and also enjoying when she got her comeuppance.

Watchability score: 4/5, if you can handle it

Up next: Chimes at Midnight

 

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#377- The Ten Commandments

Quick recap: This movie is basically the story of Moses you remember from church, except with some love subplots thrown in for fun.

Except for this movie because it takes place in the Old Testament

Fun (?) fact: The special effects for this film were groundbreaking for their time, even though they look quite silly today. My favorite special effect is the hail that was actually popcorn painted white.

The parting of the Red Sea always made me sad as a kid because I imagined the fish were freaking out

Mary’s Ten Commandments for the film Ten Commandments:

  1. When casting for a film about the Middle East, thou shalt cast as many white people as thou can.

2. Thou shall not lust after Moses but Ramses II instead, as his is shirtless throughout the entire film.

3. Although the movie is almost 4 hours long, thou must only show 3 of the 10 plagues, and when showing the                plagues thou shalt make the blood as close to the consistency of Kool-Aid as possible.

4. In place of the other 7 plagues, thou shalt create as ridiculous a love plot as thou can cometh up with.

5. Thou shalt also record a message of director Cecil B. de Mille justifying said love plot because of research,                 not because of monetary reasons.

6. Thou shalt include a score that I will hum incessantly for all of time.

***side note**** My band in high school did a mash up show of music from the Ten Commandments and the Prince of Egypt. I haven’t touched a French Horn in years but I still remember most of the fingerings.

7. Charleton Heston must keep the same tone throughout the film, whether he is wooing a girl or condemning                the Tribes.

8. Thou shalt spend 3 weeks filming the orgy scene at the end of the film so as to teach what not to do. Or                      something  like that.

9. Thou shalt show the back breaking work of the slaves but also make me really want to stomp in mud and straw          for a little bit.

10. Thou shalt murder as freely as thou like as long as you are God and/if you are murdering an Egyptian.

Final review: 4/5. I was able to watch this film in its entirety with little to no boredom. The story was familiar but it has been awhile since I’ve heard it so the plot kept me on my toes. The plagues were gruesome enough and although the special effects were cheesy, this was the 50s and everyone tried their best.

Up next: Rain Man

 

 

 

 

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#374- Toy Story

Quick recap: A space ranger and a cowboy find out they can be friends despite their differences.

credit: Sushio

Fun (?) fact: The carpet in Sid’s house has the same design as the carpet from the Overlook Hotel in the Shining

My thoughts and observations (in no particular order):

  • I almost wish I hadn’t watched Toy Story 4 a few nights before viewing the original because one can’t exist without the other. Would Toy Story be as great if it was a stand alone film?
  • I remember freaking out about the details when I watched the original in theaters many years ago. The scuff marks on the door! The texture of Rex the Dinosaur! Even now, the digital graphics are impressive.
  • …….Except for the humans. All of them are frightening, especially Andy. Pixar would’ve been better off doing a Headless Nanny thing, a la Muppet Babies.

  • Something else that doesn’t hold up? The music. On one hand, I’m glad no one burst into song but on the other hand, did we really have to go with Randy Newman? He sounds like a parody of himself.
  • I still want to go to Pizza Planet. There’s a version of the restaurant at Walt Disney World but it’s not the same by a long shot

Final review: 3/5. I think this number would’ve been higher had there not been the sequels to carry out the story further. This is the origin and it does it’s job setting up the characters but it’s just not as funny as the other movies and doesn’t showcase all that Pixar is capable of.

Up next: The Ear

 

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