#118- Muriel’s Wedding

Quick recap: In this ‘comedy’ (more on that in a bit), Toni Collette plays Muriel, an overweight, socially awkward woman who still lives with her parents and does nothing for a living. She’s obsessed with weddings and also ABBA because why not?

Fun (?) fact: There’s a line in the film when Muriel is shopping for a wedding dress and the attendant asks when she is getting married. Muriel replies, ‘September’ and the attendant says, ‘spring!’. I’ve always known that Australia has opposite seasons than the US but still, that line made me think about all the many things that are weird about Australia. Australia is weird, you guys.

weird.

My thoughts: If I were ever kidnapped and tied up, I can think of no worse torture than forcing me to watch movie after movie with the ‘romantic comedy’ label. Thankfully, Moonstruck is the only movie I’ve had to watch with that label on this list so far, and it wasn’t that bad once I realized I would have Nicholas Cage for entertainment. After sitting through so many war movies recently, Muriel’s Wedding seemed like an appropriate change for a bit. And it was Australian, so that seemed a little classier than most romantic comedies. I thought it might be a nice change of pace to see my thought process as I watched the movie instead of just commenting on what I observed:

Title sequence: My prediction is that this is going to be a movie about an unattractive girl who has a make over and then falls in love and marries.

1:42: These beautiful women are all berating Muriel for catching the bouquet. I guess the director didn’t want to beat around the bush to let us know Muriel isn’t well liked. *pops open a beer*

4:49: Muriel is arrested and led out of the wedding party for stealing a dress. I mean, I know it’s wrong but she looks so sad and embarrassed.

9:58: Muriel’s family is at a restaurant,listening to their father mock them and call them all useless. I’m beginning to see that this isn’t a typical ‘ugly duckling’ story but instead one about a girl with serious problems.

13:32: Oh, good! Muriel has friends! These are the same girls who made fun of her at the wedding, but that’s what friends do sometimes. All in good fun!

16:41: Nope! They are kicking her out of the group for being weird, fat and ugly. And now Muriel is crying. Oh my god, this is awful. *finishes first beer, throws the can in a corner and cracks open a second. Starts chugging immediately.*

Muriel is showing exactly how I feel right now

20:57: Oh, Muriel. I know it was harsh to be kicked out of a group but then to show up on their vacation is just asking for trouble.

21:15- They throw a drink in Muriel’s face. Why are you doing this to me, Muriel??? Stop it! *on 3rd beer now. This one won’t last long*

25:00– Muriel has found a friend! Oh, thank god. And this friend also likes ABBA and hates the girls. Things are looking up.

35:48: Muriel’s dad found out that she stole his money to fund the trip and she has now run away to Sydney. And she looks good! I’m ready for the comedy part.

42:04- Muriel brings a date back to the apartment she shares with Rhonda but freaks out when the boy starts taking her clothes off. I’m still going to count this as a success for Muriel.

46:29– After drunkenly falling down, Rhonda (Muriel’s only friend) is diagnosed with cancer. *Quickly finishes 3rd beer and grabs the vodka bottle*

54:20- Rhonda finds out Muriel has been trying on wedding dresses for fun because in her mind, she will have truly changed if she can find someone who loves her. Don’t do this to me , Muriel!

59:50- Rhonda’s cancer is back and she will never walk again!

1:01:53– In an effort to stay in Sydney, Muriel has answered an ad to marry a guy so that he can get on the Australian swim team. Dude is visibly grossed out by her.

1:08:27- They get married, but dude is still visibly grossed out. Muriel’s dad has divorced her mom. Mom shows up to wedding carrying a gift but isn’t noticed because of course not. She looks more sad than Muriel ever has.

1:19:23- Muriel’s mom tries on a pair of shoes because her current ones hurt her feet so much. She forgets to pay for them and is arrested.

1:21:17– Muriel’s dad yells at her mom and makes her feel awful.

1:22: 54- Muriel’s mom kills herself! *throws empty vodka bottle into corner with other beer cans*

End of movie: Muriel realizes she needs to start being honest with herself and breaks off the Not Marriage to the swimmer, but after having sex with him. Good job, Muriel.

Final review: 4/5. This was in no way a comedy. Most depressing movie ever? Maybe. Worth watching just for Toni Collette but don’t make me sit through it again without expecting some sort of alcohol poisoning.

Up next: Out of Africa

1 Comment

#117- Nashville

Quick recap:This is a satirical film about……Nashville. There are a billion different characters and story lines which I’m not even going to attempt to go into.

even Jeff Goldblum is in the movie

Fun (?) fact: Almost all the dialogue throughout the movie is improvised. Also, all actors singing were required to write and perform their own original songs.

even Elliott Gould appeared briefly in Nashville

My thoughts: I’m not sure where to begin on this review because frankly, I’m not entirely sure what I just watched. IMDb says this movie is in the drama genre but there is satire so I should’ve laughed, right? Or at least shook my head and quietly mumbled, ‘good job, Altman. You get it.’? I think my issue with the ‘satire’ label is that I have no concept of what life was like then. Director Robert Altman tried to capture what America was going through in 1975- the end of Vietnam War as well as the Watergate scandal, and then the bicentennial celebration in 76 which was supposed to honor the morals that the US was founded on. So, in the sense that I am an adult with critical thinking skills I get the point but I don’t really get it because I wasn’t alive then. In this instance, the movie’s core was lost on me but for someone older I could imagine it really having an impact and bringing back memories of that time.

So what I’m left with is a story about Nashville. Kind of. As mentioned above, there are so many story lines and characters that it mostly seems chaotic. The characters interact with each other and show up at various events together but they aren’t best friends or anything. I spent the first 2 hours trying to find a connection and then waiting for a big moment but it didn’t come until the very end. The ending is a twist and sort of ties everything together but not really. As an example, one of the characters is a soldier who keeps popping up around another character, Barbara Jean. He is shown in all scenes with her, even as just a face in the crowd in some instances. It is later revealed that his mom once saved Barbara Jean from a fire and wanted her son to find her. That’s it. That was the climax for that story line.

Other story lines- in fact, almost all of the story lines- are bleak and sad. There’s Sueeleen who can’t sing but since she’s hot she gets booked into a big gig. Once the people hear her they start to boo. She is then talked into a strip tease because that’s what the audience really came for. Another sad character is Mr. Green, whose wife is in the hospital. He spends the movie trying to hunt down his niece who would rather visit with boys than her sick aunt, who later dies. It seemed as if Altman was making fun of the country music scene but even his most famous character Haven Hamilton is pretty much what I would expect a country star to act like. I think I just didn’t get this movie or its importance. Moving on.

Final review: 2/5. It also annoys me that so many stars were in this movie. No reason why, but I think it added to the overall chaos

Up next: Muriel’s Wedding

2 Comments

#116- Red River

Quick recap: It’s Mutiny on the Bounty but with cowboys.

and there’s a wise cook who shares his teeth with a Native American. That’s not an expression, by the way. He literally shares his dentures with another person.

Fun (?) fact: John Ireland, who played Cherry Valance, originally had a much bigger part in the movie but due to unprofessionalism barely had any scenes in the final cut.

comparing the size of their ‘guns’

My thoughts: Despite having hated Shane, I vowed to not let it taint the western movie genre for me. Red River is already a step in the right direction for two reasons: 1) it has John Wayne, whom I have never seen act before (I KNOW) and 2) there are no creepy ‘Village of the Damned’ children. Score!

Before I start, let me first explain that I was going to make this post all about the flirting going on between Montgomery Clift’s character (Matt) and John Ireland’s character (Cherry Valance). Imagine many witty Gay Cowboy jokes, maybe with a few cleverly placed Brokeback Mountain references for good measure. But in researching Red River, I learned that Clift was most definitely gay in real life and the director (as well as everyone else) was well aware of it. That joke about comparing gun sizes? Totally intentional. And now I’m embarrassed for neglecting my 1940’s gossip magazines, or I would’ve already known this fact. 70 year old scandal is the best kind of scandal, you know.

Red River, for the most part, exceeded my expectations. On the surface, it was a fun western with all the tropes you would expect to see: damsel in distress, negative portrayal of native americans, cowboys being macho and ‘manly’. But I liked how John Wayne’s character brought in some deeper themes. I don’t know much about John Wayne (I KNOW), but I always thought he played the ‘good guy’. Actually, I still don’t really know if he is considered the ‘good guy’ in this movie because he has a fondness for killing people. Like, he just does it without thinking. I laughed out loud in the beginning of the film when there is a time jump to show how much Thomas Dunsan’s (John Wayne) ranch has grown and you can see a whole graveyard of people he has apparently killed and buried over the years. He’s just so nonchalant about it which seems kind of evil, but he always buries the victims and reads out of a Bible so in the eyes of other cowboys, he isn’t so bad.

I also appreciated that the movie didn’t just put the cowboys in situation after situation, even though the cattle drive was perilous. There were dangers, sure, but most of the conflict came between the men themselves. But there was also an ‘indian raid’ and stampede (caused by a cowboy stealing sugar) so the action was plenty intense.

a parting shot of Montgomery Clift and that other guy

Final review: 4/5. Close to a 5 but I have hope that there are even better westerns out there for me to see

Up next: Nashville

#115- All Quiet on the Western Front

Quick recap: ‘I can’t tell you anything you don’t know. We live in the trenches out there, we fight, we try not to be killed; and sometimes we are. That’s all.’- Paul Bäumer

Fun (?) fact: Raymond Griffith, who played the dying soldier Gerard Duval, was a prolific silent film star. Having lost his voice as a child, Griffith’s career on screen was effectively over after All Quiet on the Western Front. It was really hard to find a trivia fact more depressing than this movie but I think I did it!

My thoughts: War movies are on a whole rather depressing. I’ve seen quite a few lately and I suppose it’s only fitting that I end my streak on the most depressing. Rome,Open City and The Ascent are more sad but for a soldier’s perspective, nothing compares to this.

So basically, everyone dies. I don’t think it’s much of a spoiler because A)the movie is over 80 years old and B) it’s an anti-war film so what better way to prove your point than by killing every one? I spent too much time trying to figure out who everyone was at the beginning of the film but after they started dying off, I realized that it didn’t matter and that it was probably best not to become too attached. The death scenes themselves were a little dramatic but once again, this movie isn’t trying to enlist anyone so might as well add all the flair you want. The battles are spectacular, though. I couldn’t keep up with what was going on which I guess was pretty realistic. It amazes me to no end that this movie was made in 1930. Many parts look far more sophisticated than what Hollywood was producing at that time. The acting too was impressive, especially considering that ‘talkies’ were still a relatively new thing.

The plot itself wasn’t hard to follow because once again, the entire movie is just watching people die. I’m in no way for censorship, but I can see the reasoning behind so many countries banning this movie. The point is said several times that dying is more important than your country which I’m not here to discuss but it seems a radical idea for the time and actually still a radical idea. It goes without saying, really, that Germany was not a fan of this movie and didn’t allow it to be shown at all until the 50s.

just in case you missed the point, EVERYONE DIES.

Final review: 4/5. I’m ready for a different topic now.

Up next: Red River

2 Comments

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this: