#144- Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Quick recap: King Arthur and his knights go on a journey to find the Holy Grail, encountering many terrifying obstacles along the way.

like this rabbit with nasty, big, pointy teeth

like this rabbit with nasty, big, pointy teeth

Fun (?) fact: The airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow is roughly 24 miles per hour.

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My thoughts: I planned on starting out this section with the belief that people either love or hate Monty Python, but then I thought about it a bit and realized that I don’t know anyone who hates this movie. I might just know some awesome people, though. I watched this movie back in college after my roommate, a theatre major, stared at me with dropped jaw when I admitted I had never seen it. I remember being reluctant to try it because I knew barely anything about British humor except for a couple of shows I would catch on PBS sometimes late at night, and those were just stuffy sitcoms. From the second the credits came on, I knew that this movie was for me.

I had the pleasure of attending a Monty Python Quote-Along at my local Alamo Drafthouse , which I don’t recommend if this is your first time seeing a movie. The Drafthouse subtitled the most popular lines, although I was a little disappointed that a few of my favorites weren’t included. But then I remembered that I have this blog and can do whatever I want! So now, without further ado, I present my 5, I mean 3, favorite Monty Python scenes. I’d love to just quote the whole thing right now but for the few people who are reading this and have not seen the movie, I’ll refrain.

1. The opening credits

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2. the witch scene

90cc181fc49fad3fff1a1b6b782ddb4d3. the scene where the knights must answer 3 questions before crossing the bridge

imagesWhat I loved most about watching this on the big screen is being with other people who love this movie even more than I do. There were some in the audience who have watched the Holy Grail upwards of a hundred times and still enjoy it. I’m nowhere near that number but if given the opportunity, I would gladly watch it again and laugh the entire time.

Final review:  5/5. Watch it!

Up next: 4 Weddings and a Funeral

#141- Up in Smoke

Quick recap: Two stoners unknowingly drive a van made entirely of marijuana from Mexico to the US and hijinks ensue.

HI-jinks, get it??

I’m sorry. So very sorry for that one, but I can’t guarantee there won’t be more.

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Fun (?) fact: The dog that stole the burrito was not actually part of the movie but was instead a stray that had just wandered onto the set.

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My thoughts:  Much like breaking the first rule of Fight Club (which I suppose I am doing right now by even mentioning Fight Club) I broke cardinal rule while watching Up in Smoke: I was not high. I felt that it would really be lame to watch this movie completely sober so I instead decided to kick back a couple of beers while watching, hoping that I would feel some of the same effects.

The first thing that surprised me about this movie was that there was a plot, but just barely. Good on them for putting something cohesive together, although I think it would’ve been just as funny and probably more existential to have Cheech and Chong just driving around, getting high. It would be sort of like Two-Lane Blacktop but with more shenanigans and less James Taylor.

And as for the shenanigans, there were plenty: from a girl taking a hit (is that what the kids call it?) of the cleaner Ajax to smoking a blunt as big as a burrito. I laughed throughout several of these scenes but I didn’t find it all that creative or revolutionary. Which is not to say that it should’ve been. I think part of the issue is that the ‘stoner comedy’ has been done SO many times since then that watching the original is kind of underwhelming. Also, I wasn’t high while watching this so I felt like I wasn’t the intended demographic.

They call them fingers, but I've never seen them fing....

They call them fingers, but I’ve never seen them fing….

Final review: 2/5. Alcohol does not in fact replace marijuana.

Cheech and Strong Bad sound almost exactly alike. Remember Strong Bad? Good times.

Cheech and Strong Bad sound almost exactly alike. Remember Strong Bad? Good times.

Up next: Close-Up

#138- The Conformist

Quick recap: A spy has been given the task of assassinating an Anti-Fascist, who happens to have been a mentor of his.

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Fun (?) fact: I got nothing. For a movie so aesthetically pleasing and for something so complex, I was expecting a bevy of information but all IMDb gave me was the Italian Censorship Visa # (56307 for all my censorship visa nerds. I know y’all LIVE for that kind of stuff)

seriously. This movie is beautiful. It's an art form all by itself

seriously. This movie is beautiful. It’s an art form all by itself

My thoughts: First of all, hi everyone! I’m back from my month long hiatus where I participated (and won) NaNaWriMo. A good time was had by all.

I wanted to ease back into this blog with a comedy or something that I could make fun of easily but this was next on the list, so here we are: The Conformist. The title itself is a whole philosophical discussion about man’s true need to conform to society and especially political beliefs. Or something like that. Marcello Clerici, the main character ,is a Fascist because that’s just what many powerful people in Italy were, but he ultimately failed to conform because he couldn’t carry out his duties as a member of the secret police. Or something like that.

even insane asylums are beautiful

even insane asylums are beautiful

As beautiful as the film was, the non-linear storyline was confusing, especially in the beginning ,but I got used to it about halfway through. Clerici shares a flashback in the beginning of the film where he talks about being bullied by neighborhood boys because his family was wealthy. A chauffer befriends him and then tries to sexually assault him. Clerici shoots him and is able to escape. At the end of the film, as Mussolini has fallen, Marcello walks around with another Fascist pal and comes across Lino, the guy he thought he had killed. He suddenly freaks out and starts labeling everyone around him as a Fascist and implicates them in the murder of the professor and his wife. Director Bernard Bertolucci implies that the only reason Clerici is a Fascist is because of childhood sexual trauma and repressed homosexual urges, which is a pretty damning statement but not really how that kind of thing works.

By far, the best part of the scene is the murder of the professor and his wife, who Clerici has fallen in love with. Prior to the assassination, he warned Anna to stay in France but she didn’t listen. When her husband is stabbed to death (by a gang of spies and it takes FOREVER) she runs out of the car for help. She sees Clerici in the car and starts screaming because that’s pretty messed up, but he just sits there and lets her get murdered. It’s such a dark part of the movie that it is hard to believe that this movie was released in 1970.

Final review: 4/5. This is a complex movie that was way ahead of its time and certainly stands with more modern movies.

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Up next: Farewell, My Concubine

#134- The Exorcist

Quick recap: A young girl undergoes a personality change and after several tests, the doctors conclude she is possessed because that’s how medicine operated back then, I suppose. A priest performs the exorcism and everything returns to normal. Or does it???

Yes. Yes it does.

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Fun (?) fact: In order to give the actors genuine reactions of fear, director William Friedkin would shoot a gun into the air right before filming.

My thoughts: Although I stand by my last post, I feel sort of silly for being so afraid of The Blair Witch Project. I’m proud to say that my fear only lasted until daybreak and then it was gone completely,so in order to make up for my scaredy cat ways, I decided to go and watch The Exorcist on the big screen, arguably one of the scariest movies every made. This is the movie that many people flat out refuse to see for fear of,I don’t know, being possessed themselves? Or maybe these people already have a phobia of split pea soup and have no desire to sit through two hours of scenes featuring it. Whatever the case might be, I was ready to scare myself silly and live to brag about it.

….And I wasn’t scared. Like, at all. I’m not really sure I believe in people being possessed to begin with, so that might have something to do with the lack of fear. Or it could be because when I look back at Regan’s transformation into demon, the first word I think of is gross, not scary. Honestly, the scariest parts for me were the hospital scenes when Chris is trying to figure out why her daughter’s personality has changed so much. As a parent, that’s a top fear of mine (no, not demon possession), that my son could get sick and I would be powerless to help him. Beyond that, though, I just don’t get the hype.  Torture Porn (think Hostel and Saw) has been a big thing for awhile, meaning the more gore, the better. A girl projectile vomiting is gross,  but not an image that would keep me up all hours of the night. After about an hour and a half of The Exorcist, I sort of became desensitized to the whole thing. I knew that even if I dwelled on a scene too much, it wouldn’t matter because it would soon be replaced by an even more horrifying scene.

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Even though The Exorcist wouldn’t make my top 5 scary movie list, it’s hard to ignore its impact on society. There is such a stigma to this movie, to the point that people feel they are committing blasphemy by sitting down and watching it. If anything, however, this movie is a champion for the Catholic church, who stepped in and saved a little girl’s life. There are several scenes that would offend most people and that’s what causes the stigma, but as a whole, the movie is rather hopeful since it shows good triumphing over evil.

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I’d also like to add that, minus all the gross out/blasphemous scenes, the movie is fascinating. It made me want to research the history of people believing they are possessed as well as the Catholic Church’s stance on exorcism. I loved the character of the priest Demi and his crisis of faith. I believe that alone would be a compelling enough of a movie. On the other hand, the gross scenes are an art of their own, showcasing techniques that no one had ever done before. I was absolutely shocked to see that The Exorcist came out in 1973 because it seemed so modern, compared to other films around that time.

Final review: 4/5. I watched the director’s cut at the Alamo Drafhouse and I have to say, I disagree with putting the ‘spider walk’ scene back in. It doesn’t fit and just seems to be thrown in there for one last scare.

Up next: more Horrorfest