#231- There’s Something About Mary

Quick recap: In the screwballiest of screwball comedies, There’s Something About Mary is about a guy (Ted) in love with a girl (Mary).

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Ben Stiller as a high school kid will haunt me for a long while

Fun(?) fact: Lee Evans (who plays Tucker) has the most godawful British accent but as it turns out, he is actually British and just exaggerated what he normally sounds like. Actors!

 My thoughts: Hello. My name is Mary. YEAH. This movie came out when I was in middle school and has been the bane of my existence ever since then. Not that I needed more fuel for people to tease me about my name- ‘Hey Mary, how does your garden grow?’ ‘Hey, Mary, where’s your lamb?’ ‘Hey, Mary, are you proud?’ ‘Mary Me!’ (actually, that one was kind of funny). The point is, I hated this movie just for that reason and I’m glad to say that now I can hate it because it is the WORST.

All you really need to know about There’s Something About Mary is that it is directed by the Farrelly brothers, who are known for such gems as Shallow Hal, Osmosis Jones and Dumb and Dumber. Now, I have nothing against lowbrow comedy or even the Farrelly brothers in general. I have seen Dumb and Dumber many times and certain scenes still make me laugh. The difference though is that that movie had heart where this one just has jokes about masturbation and killing a dog. Yes, there is a love story but just barely. It’s mostly just a vehicle to get to the gross out stuff and making fun of people who are disabled. I never bought into the whole Ted/Mary dynamic mainly because there wasn’t much there. There is one scene where the two sit around and talk about more meat products needing to be on sticks. This turned out to be a joke that Seinfeld was going to use originally but decided against it so the Farrelly brothers bought it. These guys suck.

And as for the ending, which I’m going to go ahead and spoil because screw you if you want to watch this after my review, it turns out that EVERY guy is in love with Mary. There is a zany cast of suitors throughout the movie with the reveal at the end that Mary’s crazy high school boyfriend, Woogie, is Ted’s best friend and his been patiently waiting for his chance. I cried in despair upon realizing that I had been duped by the Farrelly brothers and hadn’t seen the twist ahead of time. The other reveal that Mary’s ex, Brett, was actually Brett Favre didn’t send me into quite as big a shame spiral, but I was still pretty broken up about the whole thing. Please don’t watch this movie.

Final review: 1/5. I guess you could call this the height of screwball comedies, which just means that it gets much, much worse.

Up next: Cleansing my palette with The Godfather

#229- Pulp Fiction

Quick recap: Told out of order, Pulp Fiction interweaves stories about hit men, a boxer and a couple about to rob a diner.

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Fun (?) fact: To prepare for the role, John Travolta researched what it was like to be on heroin and was told to down a bottle of Tequila and then get in a hot tub. The more you know, kids!

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My thoughts: Let me tell you, this has probably been the hardest review I’ve ever written. Not because the movie is bad or anything, but because what could I possibly add to something so perfect? Pulp Fiction is a masterpiece and I have yet to run into anyone who doesn’t like it. It’s Tarantino’s best, hands down and every moment is gold.

I had the opportunity to watch Pulp Fiction on the big screen at the Alamo Drafthouse and I’m so glad I did because that’s how it’s meant to be seen. It was a Quote Along, which I was initially hesitant about but then warmed up to the idea once I was given a cap gun and a syringe pen. It’s been awhile since I had last seen the movie so I wasn’t sure I would be able to remember many of the ‘quotable’ lines, but once it began, it didn’t matter. There’s just something wonderfully cathartic about saying ‘motherfucker’ with about 100 other people.

Yes, there is a lot of violence and language but I’m not really sure what you were expecting from a Tarantino film, if that sort of thing bothers you. I wouldn’t use the word ‘gratuitous’ to describe the killing, especially compared to his newest, Hateful Eight. I think I was most surprised by how perfectly everything fit together. Every line said, every gun fired was necessary. Pulp Fiction has a lot of ‘rambling’ anecdotes but somehow it just works. I loved this film when I first saw it years ago and I think I’m even more in love now.

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Final review: 5/5

Up Next: Pan’s Labyrinth

#222- Se7en

Quick recap: A serial killer uses the seven deadly sins as a motive to murder people

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Fun (?) fact: All of John Doe’s books were real, written just for the film. They took two months to complete, which is the estimated time Somerset said it would take to read them.

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It’s just never a good idea to mention how close you are to retirement

My thoughts: Se7en is a good movie in that, ‘I’m into serial killers, but not INTO serial killers’ kind of way. I love me a well done murder mystery (despite having never seen CSI or Law and Order), and this movie satisfies all the things I love about the genre: creative death, a sarcastic detective and a fascinating journey to the library.

The biggest aspect that separates Se7en from other crime movies is that it manages to make the villain an actual villain. Hannibal Lecter is a gruesome killer, yet somehow I found myself rooting for him. This guy (John Doe)  was so insane and the murders so brutal that I was 100% on the cops’ side. I also liked that there wasn’t a storyline to delve into John Doe’s past and explain what made him do the things he did. Dude’s a lunatic and that’s all there is to it.

Despite the creativity of the murders, the rest of the movie is your run of the mill police procedural. There’s even a montage of Somerset and Mills analyzing the clues separately, their stereotypes brightly on display. Somerset (Morgan Freeman) is a hardened detective, literally 6 days from retirement while his partner Mills  (played by Brad Pitt) is the cocky young detective who throws Somerset for a loop. It’s like the Odd Couple, but more boring because the two figure out they need each other pretty quick. The mystery of who’s the killer is solved rather easily and I was relieved that it wasn’t anyone we had already been introduced to. For the couple of people who haven’t seen the movie, I won’t spoil the it. All I’ll say is that the case isn’t wrapped up as nicely as you think it is.

Another reason that sets this movie apart from others of its kind is its darkness. There is no happy ending (sorry, SPOILER ALERT) and I was left on my own to search for meaning- Is it that we are damned if we do and damned if we don’t? Is it that sometimes when you feel you have triumphed you have really lost? Or is it that despite Brad Pitt being a beautiful man, even he can’t pull off a goatee and frosted tips? The mystery endures.

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Final review: 4/5. It’s definitely a gruesome film and not one I’m going to go out and buy on DVD any time soon.

Up next: 8 1/2

 

 

#209- The Sixth Sense

Quick recap: A kid sees dead people and also it’s really cold all of the time.

from savagechickens.com from savagechickens.com

Fun (?) fact: M. Night Shyamalan said that he got the idea for The Sixth Sense after an episode of ‘Are You Afraid of the Dark?’. That show used to freak me out so much as a kid so it’s nice to know that it stuck with someone else as well.

The Midnight Society made me want to try throwing stuff into fires

My thoughts: Welcome to Horrorfest! The past couple of years have mostly been about trying to find something to truly terrify me, but seeing as how the list has started to dwindle a bit, my new theme is ‘Whatever is Left’. Catchy, don’t you think? Anyway, first up we have The Sixth Sense, which I chose because it is currently streaming on Netflix. I have seen this movie a few times, including once when it was still in the theater and embarrassed myself by crying because the ending confused me. So, yes, I knew about the ending beforehand, which, if you don’t, A: Congratulations on not getting spoiled yet! The internet can be a cruel, terrifying place about stuff like this  and B: Probably best if you skip this post for now and keep your purity.

Knowing the ending before sitting down to watch the movie made it a little less fun, but not much. I started out trying to find all of the clues that would’ve given away that Malcolm was dead, but gave up pretty quickly because I was so wrapped up in the story. The details I did manage to find made the twist seem so obvious, but only if you know what you are looking for. For example, there is a very obvious close up to Bruce Willis’ face when Cole says that he sees dead people, yet that could also be explained by the director wanting to get a reaction shot. In the end, the realization was still a shock even though I knew it was coming. I liked that Shyamalan used shots from what we had already seen to explain what happened, rather than Malcolm just saying, ‘ Oh my god. I’m dead.’It’s nice when directors choose to trust that their audience can figure out what is going on.

What surprised me most this time around was the emotional punch this movie gave. As an adult, the ghosts no longer scare me, but the idea of having a child with this ability does. I’m not even talking about the ability to see ghosts, but any disability or something not easily treatable. Then there’s the idea of losing someone you love and trying to put myself in Anna’s shoes but being unable to dwell on it too much because it made me so sad. It’s really funny to me how much this movie terrified me when it first came out and now it still terrifies me, just in different ways.

FInal review: 5/5 Also, good on Muriel for getting married and having a kid, although I wish it was in better circumstances. Poor Muriel.

Up next: More Horrorfest!