Tag Archives: 4/5

#203- Pinocchio

Quick recap: A wooden puppet comes alive and surprisingly doesn’t murder everyone in his sight.

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Fun (?) fact: In the original novel, Pinocchio murders Jiminy Cricket with a mallet. He pops up later on with little explanation given.

I'm feeling very uncomfortable right now

I’m feeling very uncomfortable right now

My thoughts: I decided to share Pinocchio with my 6 year old one evening, because there’s no better way to bond than to threaten a child with horrifying consequences if he doesn’t behave. Afterwards, I asked what he thought about it.

Me: How many points would you give this movie, out of 5?

B: 5, because of the cat.

Me: What was your favorite part of Pinocchio?

B: The cat.

Me: What was the funniest part of the movie?

B: When Geppetto thought Pinocchio was dead! Oh, and the cat.

The interview was abruptly shut down after that and off to therapy my son went.

So, besides learning how creepy my kid can be, I actually enjoyed the movie somewhat. The moral about being good was a little heavy handed, but that’s what was to be expected back then. Kids these days don’t know how good they’ve got it, with their soft themes of friendship and working together. Back then, all kids had was, ‘your nose will grow long if you lie, you’ll turn into a jackass and everyone you know and love will be swallowed by a giant whale.’

One thing I had forgotten about Pinocchio was all of the music Disney used to do with their films. I kind of enjoyed it, although my kid seemed a little bored through some of the numbers. He might’ve just wanted the cat back, though.

Overall, the only thing that really bothered me was the relationship between Geppetto and Pinocchio. I know that he wanted a son, but he had really only known the puppet for a few hours before he started getting into trouble. Maybe I’m just a bad person, but I most likely wouldn’t risk my life for a wooden puppet that had caused me grief for most of its short life.

I much prefer Egg Yolkeo

I much prefer Egg Yolkeo

Final review: 4/5, and I agree that the cat made the movie

Up next: Sunrise

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#201- Sideways

Quick recap: Two guys (friends?) go on the most depressing wine tour ever.

Don't be fooled. Everyone is miserable or will be miserable soon.

Don’t be fooled. Everyone is miserable or will be miserable soon.

Fun (?) fact: Most of the wine everyone drank in the movie was non-alcoholic. It tasted so bad and made everyone so sick that they had to drink the real stuff once in awhile to ‘cleanse their palate’.

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My thoughts: Wine is one of those things I wish I was a fan of, but have never been able to enjoy. I tried some back in college because I wanted to feel sophisticated but ended up using so much Fresca that it defeated the point. As an adult I think I have finally come to terms with the fact that I will most likely never enjoy wine and that’s ok. Still, there’s a part of me that becomes jealous when I see that a friend is touring Napa Valley or the wine region in Texas (That’s a thing. Didn’t know that until earlier this year). I envy people who get to do sophisticated things such as wine tasting, although spitting into a bucket is still a little weird. Do you know who I don’t envy? Miles and Jack from this movie.

Immediately after finishing Sideways, my first thought was, ‘ Gee, that was stupid’. My second thought was, ‘I wonder where I could watch Wings. That show was comedy gold!’. But eventually, my thoughts drifted back to the movie. The whole point (I think) had more to do with Miles’ character than anything else. He’s an unsuccessful writer depressed about his recent divorce. He and Jack (Thomas Haden Church) make for an unlikely pair, and I don’t mean that in a Felix and Oscar goofy sort of way. They seriously don’t fit together, and I think that’s what bothered me most about the film. I came into the movie thinking this was a sophisticated version of a bro comedy and instead I get a duo that seem entirely wrong for each other. If there is a bro to be found, it’s Jack who spends the week before getting married sleeping with whomever he feels like. He’s a slimeball, yes, but surely Miles already knew this? Why make himself miserable?

And so it is that question and (maybe) answer that made me appreciate and dare I say enjoy? (nope. I’ll stick with appreciate) Sideways. So as far as I can tell, Miles chooses to be miserable. He heads to his favorite place on earth with his idiot buddy, all the while knowing that Jack couldn’t care less about wine. He set himself up for failure and then got to mope around as a result. It isn’t until the end of the movie, as Miles sees that not only has his ex wife remarried but that she is also pregnant, that he has a moment of truth. I loved the scene of him in the fast food restaurant drinking his most expensive bottle of wine because that was his way of moving on. It was oddly beautiful. And the final scene with Miles knocking on Maya’s door essentially showed that he was free and maybe it was Jack all along who was really trapped. Mind blown.

Oh, Lowell, you've still got it.

Oh, Lowell, you’ve still got it.

Final review: 4/5. I was sitting at 2 but after spending a few days in thought, I decided to bump it up.

Up next: The Leopard , which I suspect is not actually about leopards. A girl can dream, though.

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#200- My Own Private Idaho

Quick recap: Mike (River Phoenix), a narcoleptic hustler, goes on a journey to find his mom and takes his best friend Scott (Keanu Reeves) with him.

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Fun (?) fact: When My Own Private Idaho was released on video in America, it was marketed as a straight film, with both main characters embracing a woman.

straightest film I've ever seen

straightest film I’ve ever seen

My thoughts: The only other River Phoenix film I can recall having seen is Stand by Me, and although he did an excellent job, I never really understood the way some people would wax poetic about him, calling him the next James Dean. But now I’ve seen My Own Private Idaho and I totally get it. That kid was talented and it’s incredibly sad to know that he would be dead in a couple of years, after giving such a powerful performance. I’ve seen plenty of Keanu Reeves movies, on the other hand, and this one also sticks out as one of his best, if not the best of his career.

This is one of those movies that I enjoyed very much, but didn’t fall in love with. I loved the spirit of the movie and how even though the subject matter was heavy, it never felt depressing. Although most of the film is about Mike looking for his mother who abandoned him as a child, the real issue is that he is in love with Scott. Scott, on the other hand, is just a rebellious rich kid. He goes with Mike to Portland, Idaho and Italy, managing to stay platonic even though it is obvious how hard Mike has fallen for him. There’s a great scene, the best in the movie, where Mike finally confesses his love and Scott listens but doesn’t reciprocate. It’s tragic and also anticlimactic because the two pack up and continue their journey the next day. At the end of the film, Scott falls in love with a woman, inherits his fortune and completely turns away from his old life living on the streets. Mike on the other hand, continues to exist exactly like he always has and heads out in search of new family.

One of my favorite aspects of the film is how the issues of being gay and homeless in the early 90s looked. There is one scene where a bunch of the boys sit around at a diner at talk about their first time being raped and assaulted while hustling. It was incredibly sad, but what made it so was that there was so little emotion attached to the stories. They were violated, yet couldn’t do much about it because they had nowhere to go and no one to turn to. So, they created their own family of people who understood and would protect them if need be. Although I couldn’t identify with every issue, the theme of creating your own family out of people you love is a comforting one.

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Final review: 4/5. I would’ve given it a 3 because the Shakespeare was a little confusing and pretentious, but the presence of Flea bumped it up.

Up next: a retrospective of the last 100 movies I have watched

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#198- Little Big Man

Quick recap: A 121 year old man recounts his various adventures growing up in the wild west.

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Fun (?) fact: I’m sure there’s some really interesting stuff out there about this movie, but what stuck out most to me was that Dustin Hoffman is 78 years old. No one else seems to think anything of this, but I’m still trying to wrap my head around it.

I don't see him looking like this at 121, but you never know

I don’t see him looking like this at 121, but you never know

My thoughts: As with anything Native American related, it’s usually very difficult to pull off anything that isn’t completely offensive, so I didn’t have high hopes going into Little big Man. In fact, I had already planned some of the snark I would say on this post related to such insensitivity. Alas, that version won’t happen because I thought everyone did a really good job (impressive, even) with the subject matter, managing to create something hilarious and heartbreaking and giving me the motivation to learn more.

Little Big Man is mostly about Jack Crabb’s (played by Dustin Hoffman) relationship with the Cheyenne nation. As a child, his entire family was wiped out from the Pawnee tribe, except for him and his sister, and a member of the Cheyenne took him in. His sister ran away, but he stayed until he was a young adult and became an honorary brother. Sure, there were some questionable things like the manner of speech the Cheyenne had and their various traditions, but overall, they were seen in a very positive light. Crabb fights with white men at some point and once he is discovered as one of them, he is shipped off to a town to learn some religion. It’s from here that the movie begins to bounce back and forth. He goes through every Western cliche you can think of ( helper at a medicine show, gun fighter, helping a woman at a whorehouse, and so on), but that’s what made the movie funny. This is a tall tale, you see, and I never really got whether or not we are supposed to believe it ( think Big Fish), but it was very entertaining, nonetheless.

One of my reasons for liking this movie so much is the way Crabb always finds his way back to the Cheyenne. He is white, yet it is with these people that he connects with the most. There were several stereotypical characters, but they were portrayed with compassion, especially compared to the white people Crabb encountered elsewhere.  The scenes where Custer and his men tore through the villages killing women and children were very difficult to watch and it was shocking, compared to the lightheartedness of the rest of the movie. This movie was made in 1970, at the height of the Vietnam war so there were many parallels to what was going on in that part of the world at the time.

The movie isn’t perfect and my biggest annoyance was how Forrest Gumpy the plot felt at times. For example, Crabb meets up with Wild Bill during his gun fighter stage, and sees him accidentally kill a man. Seven years later, the two meet up again at a bar and out of nowhere, a kid comes in and shoots Wild Bill dead. It turns out the kid was the son of the man Bill killed earlier and Crabb just happened to be there when it all went down. I have nothing against Gumpy, but it got old after awhile knowing that some ironic thing was about to happen.

Final review: 4/5. For a long film, I didn’t get bored once

Up next: Orphans of the Storm

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