#170- Blue Velvet

Quick recap: Jeffrey Beaumont, played by Kyle MacLachlan, is home from college to help his father, who has been injured. He finds a severed ear in a field one day which leads him to all sorts of messed up stuff. ALL SORTS.

Like this!

Like this!

Fun (?) fact: ‘Actors considered for the role’ trivia is mostly dull and pointless. I mean, Ewan McGregor was considered for the role of my husband but in the end I went with someone else. I could literally say anyone else and no one could dispute me because I only considered them. But in this case,the trivia is interesting because SO many actors flat out turned down a role in Blue Velvet because they were so disturbed- Val Kilmer, Molly Ringwald, Helen Mirren. Even Roy Orbison initially turned down a chance for his song to play in the film but later came around and even made a music video for the movie.

And this!

And this!

My thoughts: I learned recently that apparently I have ‘ a thing’ for Kyle MacLachlan.  I first encountered him in Desperate Housewives where he largely remained unnoticed to me. And then he resurfaced on Portlandia as The Mayor, and became one of my favorite characters. It wasn’t until Twin Peaks, however, that I truly realized this crush and have embraced it ever since. David Lynch must feel the same way I do, since he has cast him in so many of his projects.

I think it's the mutual love of coffee and pie that drew me in

I think it’s the mutual love of coffee and pie that drew me in

It’s no surprise that I thought Kyle MacLachlan did a fine job as Jeffrey Beaumont in Blue Velvet, as well as Laura Dern, who played Sandy. The movie wasn’t really about them, and although they are central to the story, I have a feeling David Lynch knew his other characters would be so insane that he had to put in a couple of boring people to even it out a bit. And, oh man, are those other characters INSANE. Everyone always refers to Anthony Hopkins, who played Hannibal Lector, as the ultimate psychopath, but he is a kitten compared to Dennis Hopper, who plays Frank in this movie. Frank is evil manifested and I think I’m still traumatized by the rape scene. This might not be a popularly held sentiment, but Dean Stockwell as Ben is just as creepy, if not more so. He looked like a mix between French Stewart and the Master of Ceremonies from Cabaret.

The plot was a little slow moving for me with many scenes feeling like I was watching some sort of a dream, which I guess is Lynch’s trademark. The music is also very similar to Twin Peaks, and actually, so is the premise. I think it’s hilarious how many people were offended by Blue Velvet and then a few years later, decide to give Lynch his own tv show, which has some of the most insane scenes that I have ever sat through. America, as an offended mob, can be a rather fickle crowd. Blue Velvet is for a very particular set of people, meaning if you like Lynch, you’re going to like this and if you don’t, this certainly won’t win you over.

Final review: 4/5

Up next: Being There

#169- The Day the Earth Stood Still

Quick recap: An alien lands his ship in the middle of Washington DC to declare that his planet is SO done with your shit, Earth. Get it together, you guys.

Klaatu is judging you and your primitive medicines. Typical Earthling, amiright?

Klaatu is judging you and your primitive medicines. Typical Earthling, amiright?

Fun (?) fact: According to IMDb, The Day the Earth Stood Still is a Christian allegory. It makes sense when you think about it: man comes to Earth preaching peace, gets wounded, resurrects, has super cool killing robot. It all fits! Even the name Klaatu adopts, Carpenter, has religious connotations. Director Robert Wise hadn’t considered any of this which makes me wonder if it is possible to do an accidental allegory. 

So, is Gort Moses? I'm a little rusty on my Bible stories but I seem to remember Moses killing everyone with his LASER stare.

So, is Gort Moses? I’m a little rusty on my Bible stories but I seem to remember Moses killing everyone with his LASER stare.

My thoughts: I’m not a fan of Sci-fi generally, but I make an exception when watching movies from the 1950s. I love how there’s a fine line between a movie becoming a classic, like this one, or fodder for Mystery Science Theater 3000. I see why it is such an important film and yet, it’s almost impossible for me not to imagine Tom Servo, Mike and Crooooooow sitting at the bottom of my screen, taking turns with their witty one-liners. It is both a blessing and a curse to live life like this, let me tell you.

0422Overall, I generally enjoyed the movie. The special effects were impressive and also a little bit cheesy. Gort was my favorite part of the film because his two roles were either KILLING ALL HUMANKIND or cradling Klaatu like a baby in his arms. I think we would be more likely to embrace our robot overlords if they also had a cradling function like Gort did.

As much as I enjoy a good symbolic film, I felt like parts of The Day the Earth Stood Still were a bit heavy handed. Peace for all mankind? I can dig it, but not when you go all preachy on me. Klaatu annoyed me from the very beginning, when he was shot and retorted that he was just giving us a tool to study life on other planets, but we ruined it and this is why we can’t have nice things. He then allows the military to take him to Walter Reed hospital but doesn’t really even need doctors because he has his own fancy salve. I also appreciated the irony that Klaatu refused to speak to the President of the United States about his mission because he wanted to talk to all nations at once so as not to take sides. And yet, he has landed his ship in the middle of Washington DC! We all know we are your favorite, buddy, don’t deny it.

At the end of the film, Klaatu basically says that the only thing that keeps his planet from fighting are these death robots, like Gort. It’s almost like some sort of war…..but no fighting, so it’s cold. It’s like a cold war. Get it? It’s not a bad idea, to have a self-destruct button built into your own planet, but we kind of did that with the nuclear bomb and that didn’t get us very far.

Final review: 4/5, but I’m being generous, I think. I didn’t love it as much as I expected to, but I can certainly appreciate a classic when I see one.

Up next: Blue Velvet

#168- The Adventures of Robin Hood

Quick recap: Robin Hood- that guy who stole from the rich to give to the poor and who also had an enormous tights budget, apparently.

Seriously, I rip my tights just trying to get them on. Either he was loaded and bought an endless supply or he was magical and never ripped them.

Seriously, I rip my tights just trying to get them on. Either he was loaded and bought an endless supply or he was magical and never ripped them.

Fun (?) fact: The sound of Robin’s arrow can be found in nearly all of the Star Wars films.

I too am a mere commoner! Watch as I put my hands on my hips and throw my head back for a hearty laugh!

I too am a mere commoner! Watch as I put my hands on my hips and throw my head back for a hearty laugh!

My thoughts: The Disney version of Robin Hood was a favorite of mine as a kid so it was neat to see where so many of the scenes came from and to appreciate how perfect the animals were for each role. Robin Hood is totally a fox! Bess is definitely a hen! This is normally where I would put up a picture as reference but even I was surprised by the amount of Furry pictures related to this movie.

Errol Flynn....IN TECHNICOLOR! I hope they just said this over and over again in the trailer, with an echo for added effect

Errol Flynn….IN TECHNICOLOR! I hope they just said this over and over again in the trailer, with an echo for added effect

The lore of Robin Hood has been around for centuries, proving that people always love a good hero story. After watching the movie, even I briefly considered learning how to sword fight because it looked so badass. Despite being made in 1938, I think the film could still have an impact on younger generations, if they would give it a chance. Youths, you know. The story is a bit more complicated than your typical adventure movie, but I think it still resonates.

Errol Flynn made for a great Robin Hood, and I loved how amused he seemed by everything, even when he was captured at the archery tournament. From what I have seen in these early adventure films (The Thief of Bagdad comes to mind), heroes didn’t take themselves too seriously, despite knowing that they were fighting evil. I can see how the story of Robin Hood could’ve been a dark one, and there is plenty implied in this version about the suffering of the Saxons, but I prefer something a little more lighthearted.

The few drawbacks from the film were little things, like the weird accents that faded into different nationalities and the use of TECHNICOLOR. I love color as much as the next guy, but this was a bit overkill. When it is called TECHNICOLOR though, I wouldn’t expect any less.

Final review: 4/5.

Up next: The Day the Earth Stood Still

#167- The Jazz Singer

Quick recap: The son of a well respected Jewish Cantor, Jakie Rabinowitz, is expected to follow in his family’s footsteps. Instead he becomes a jazz singer because that’s how you rebelled in the 1920s.

it's the Black Face that ultimately won his parents over.

it’s the Black Face that ultimately won his parents over.

Fun (?) fact: Although The Jazz Singer was the first movie with audible dialogue, it did not mean that movie studios stopped making silent films. The technology was still really expensive at the time, often doubling the budget of a film.

the episode 'Like Father, Like Clown' is an homage to 'The Jazz Singer'

the episode ‘Like Father, Like Clown’ is an homage to ‘The Jazz Singer’

My thoughts: The Jazz Singer is one of those movies I know is important and yet before last night, I didn’t know anything about it except that it had sound and was about a jazz singer. Never in a million years would I have predicted it would be about the battle between tradition and the modern Jewish family because it seemed like a light hearted, fluffy comedy musical.

Starting with the positive, I thought the story was sweet overall with the father finally coming around and welcoming his son back into the family before dying, although he never actually told his son that. Small details, I suppose. Moving on, I also appreciated the pace of the movie since silent films have a history of dragging on during certain times. The audio can only be heard in a couple of scenes along with the singing and it surprised me how excited I got when sound was introduced. I of course have grown up with ‘talkies’ as have most people alive today, and yet there is something special about witnessing something for the first time, like people in the 20s did.

What I didn’t love about The Jazz Singer is Al Jolson. I realize he is ‘the jazz guy’ and deserves to be the main character, but the dude creeped me out. First of all, the movie ages him from a cute 9 or 10 year old boy to a man in his late 40s who looks like he has been cooped up in the morgue for the past 20 years embalming dead people. At no time did I see Jolson as cute or sexy or anything other than ‘creepy undertaker’.

jazz-singer

The whole ‘blackface’ thing was also more racist than I imagined, if that were even possible. The movie is about a minority (the Jewish people) and how they come to terms with tradition versus modern times. And Jakie, played by Jolson has this revelation that he needs to be ‘true to my race’ as he is in blackface! The end of the movie is supposed to be sweet as Jakie’s mother is in the audience and her son sings a song about her (‘Mammy’, seriously). All I could think about is that maybe Jakie’s father had a point and he should’ve stayed a Cantor instead.

NOPE. Now he just looks like a racist creepy undertaker.

NOPE. Now he just looks like a racist creepy undertaker.

Final review: 2/5. Yay for historical importance but the rest of the movie is a little ridiculous.

Up next: The Adventures of Robin Hood