Category Archives: Movies

#146- Steamboat Bill, Jr.

Quick recap: William ‘Steamboat Bill’ Canfield is a-you guessed it- steamboat captain. When he receives word that his son is coming to visit (and whom he hasn’t seen since he was a baby), Steamboat Bill looks forward to having a strong, muscular man such as himself to help with chores on the ship. Instead, he gets this guy:

That stare is going to haunt me for years to come.

That stare is going to haunt me for years to come.

Hilarity then ensues.

Fun (?) fact: One of the most famous scenes in this movie occurs when William Canfield Jr. (played by Buster Keaton) is almost crushed to death by the side of a house. This scene is later recreated for an episode of Arrested Development by none other than the character Buster.

not caused by a loose seal

not caused by a loose seal

My thoughts: I have discovered a perk to silent movies: I can watch them when The Kid is awake since I don’t need sound to understand them. Hearing the music coming from my computer, he came over to investigate. He watched for about two minutes before declaring the whole thing, ‘silly’ and then walking away, presumably to torture the cats. An apt, although quite succinct review, if I ever heard one.

I had heard of Buster Keaton before, although I have never seen anything he has been in. I always thought of him as another Charlie Chaplin, mainly because those are the only two silent film stars I can name. I do see similarities, though Chaplin seems much sweeter in his movies. Keaton plays the part of the ‘awkward son’ very well, and I admittedly laughed during the scenes where Bill Sr. tried to change Bill Jr.’s look into something more masculine. On that note, most descriptions of Steamboat Bill Jr. call Keaton a ‘dandy’, which I suppose is an appropriate adjective although one not used very much anymore. Dandy just seems like such a……. ‘dandy’ word. I’m not sure what I would call him, although with the ukelele and beret, ‘hipster’ might not be too far off.

You don't understand my prog rock, DAD

You don’t understand my prog rock, DAD

The relationship between father and son lacked the warmth I had come to expect from silent films. Sure, in the end, father learns to accept son, but it was only at the very end and after Jr. had saved Sr.’s life. Jr. only won favor because he finally ‘manned up’. Then again, this is the 1920s we are talking about, so maybe my expectations were too high. Mostly, I thought of another father and son while watching this movie:

That's right, I like to reference movies I just reviewed

That’s right, I like to reference movies I just reviewed

Finally, the typhoon scene is what most people know about this movie, but I just found it…..weird. Maybe it was because it just looked like someone turned on a heavy duty fan on a clear day or maybe it was because houses don’t fall down like that, I don’t know. I didn’t find it very funny and thought it a weak ending to the story.

Final review: 3/5. Not the best, but I’m hoping to enjoy other Keaton films more.

Up next: October (Ten Days that Shook the World)

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#145- Four Weddings and a Funeral

Quick recap:  Hugh Grant plays Charles, a man who, during the course of attending several weddings (3 in fact), falls in love. Will the fourth wedding be his own, or will it in fact be his funeral?

BAM. I just made this movie infinitely more interesting than it actually was. EVEN BETTER. The funeral could’ve been his own and then he could’ve had a zombie marriage. Zombie marriages are the best kind of marriages, you know.

Don't let the quirkiness fool you. This movie is in fact quite boring.

Don’t let the quirkiness fool you. This movie is in fact quite boring.

Fun (?) fact: Hugh Grant, the star of the film, hated Four Weddings and a Funeral while filming. Maybe he’s not such a bad guy after all.

That would've been nice.

That would’ve been nice.

My thoughts: It’s really no surprise that the ‘romantic comedy’ genre is one of my least favorite. Everything is so sappy and there are too many scenes that try too hard to be funny. Still, despite knowing better, I had hope that Four Weddings and a Funeral would somehow, some way, not completely suck.

This movie did not completely suck. Yay! But only because there was so much wrong with this movie that it kept me entertained the entire time. Boo! So here are the things that irked me most about the film:

1) Who the hell are all these people? I spent way more time trying to figure out who was related to whom only to later realize they were all just a big group of friends with that one really old guy in the center of it all. A little bit of a back story would’ve been nice .

2) Everything was entirely too predictable. Granted, the title already gave away that there would in fact be 4 weddings and 1 funeral, but I didn’t realize that that was the entire movie. It at least helped me know that when I got to the 4th wedding, the torture was almost over.

3) Stop doing that, Hugh Grant! All of it- your bumbling, ‘aw,shucks’ attitude, the way you continually put your glasses on, only to take them off OVER AND OVER AGAIN, your over the top ‘poor pitiful me’ puppy dog looks whenever you are sad. Just stop.

4) The jokes. I felt like I was watching a SNL parody of how stupid romantic comedies are and how they put in the most generic not funny gags. For example: the bridesmaid who walks down the aisle with her underwear showing, the priest who officiates his first wedding and mixes up everything ( he says Holy Goat instead of Holy Ghost. Comedy gold!), the main character has to sit with his exes at the reception and it is so awkward. It was like the writers were promised pizza if they completed the script in time, so they just threw in a bunch of generic stuff and called it a day.

It would be cruel for me to go on, so I’ll stop for now. After all, I was the girl who laughed throughout A Walk to Remember while everyone was sobbing into their popcorn buckets. It’s just not the movie for me.

Final review: 2/5.

Up next: Steamboat Bill, Jr.

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#144- Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Quick recap: King Arthur and his knights go on a journey to find the Holy Grail, encountering many terrifying obstacles along the way.

like this rabbit with nasty, big, pointy teeth

like this rabbit with nasty, big, pointy teeth

Fun (?) fact: The airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow is roughly 24 miles per hour.

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My thoughts: I planned on starting out this section with the belief that people either love or hate Monty Python, but then I thought about it a bit and realized that I don’t know anyone who hates this movie. I might just know some awesome people, though. I watched this movie back in college after my roommate, a theatre major, stared at me with dropped jaw when I admitted I had never seen it. I remember being reluctant to try it because I knew barely anything about British humor except for a couple of shows I would catch on PBS sometimes late at night, and those were just stuffy sitcoms. From the second the credits came on, I knew that this movie was for me.

I had the pleasure of attending a Monty Python Quote-Along at my local Alamo Drafthouse , which I don’t recommend if this is your first time seeing a movie. The Drafthouse subtitled the most popular lines, although I was a little disappointed that a few of my favorites weren’t included. But then I remembered that I have this blog and can do whatever I want! So now, without further ado, I present my 5, I mean 3, favorite Monty Python scenes. I’d love to just quote the whole thing right now but for the few people who are reading this and have not seen the movie, I’ll refrain.

1. The opening credits

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2. the witch scene

90cc181fc49fad3fff1a1b6b782ddb4d3. the scene where the knights must answer 3 questions before crossing the bridge

imagesWhat I loved most about watching this on the big screen is being with other people who love this movie even more than I do. There were some in the audience who have watched the Holy Grail upwards of a hundred times and still enjoy it. I’m nowhere near that number but if given the opportunity, I would gladly watch it again and laugh the entire time.

Final review:  5/5. Watch it!

Up next: 4 Weddings and a Funeral

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#143- Amores Perros

Quick recap: Three seemingly unconnected stories are told, although everyone crosses passes with another at some point. Each story has something to do with love as well as something to do with a dog. Thus, Amores Perros.

Octavio y Susana, a story about a guy who is in love with his brother's wife. He also makes money dog fighting.

Octavio y Susana, a story about a guy who is in love with his brother’s wife. He also makes money dog fighting.

Fun (?) fact: For once, I put my 3 years of Spanish to good use because I knew that ‘Amores Perros’ means ‘love dogs’. Awww, love dogs. I love dogs! Upon doing some research, I found out that it is actually an expression, meaning roughly, ‘love’s a bitch.’ Oh.

Daniel y Valeria, a story about a guy finally getting to be with his mistress, a model. She has a horrible car accident and ultimately loses her leg.

Daniel y Valeria, a story about a guy finally getting to be with his mistress, a model. She has a horrible car accident and ultimately loses her leg.

My thoughts: In its synopsis, Netflix said Amores Perros was the ‘Mexican Pulp Fiction‘. That excited me because I love me some Tarentino. He has a way of mixing outlandish gore and humor so that you can’t help but fall in love with his movies. I also love the idea of other Tarentinos out there, with their own beautiful, twisted ideas in other countries. But then I watched the first scene, which featured a dying Rottweiler, completely covered in blood, and I knew that I had stepped into something closer to Funny Games than Pulp Fiction. Damn.

El Chivo, a story about a former hitman who now wants to be reunited with his estranged daughter.

El Chivo, a story about a former hitman who  wants to be reunited with his estranged daughter.

The dying dog scene was traumatic all by itself, but then the next scene featured a dogfight with people around the arena sweeping up the buckets of blood and hauling off dead dogs. The movie had a disclaimer before the opening credits that no animals were actually harmed, but everything was so realistic. As I looked up trivia about Amores Perros, I learned that the dogs were actually just playing and the director edited the scenes to make it look like fighting. As for the dead dogs, they were just heavily sedated. That’s all well and good and legally I can see how that wouldn’t be considered ‘harmful’, but most dogs if given a choice, wouldn’t care to be knocked out for a long amount of time.

So, as you can see, it was nearly impossible to get past all the gruesome dog deaths. It reminded me of all of those people who whine that they can’t sit through movies like Marley & Me, knowing that the dog will die in the end. They have no idea that there is much worse out there. And for those people who have watched Marley & Me as well as Amores Perros, what the hell is wrong with you??

Besides torturing dogs for two and a half hours, the theme of love also carried throughout the movie. And by love, I mean people being awful to each other. In the first story, Susana is married to Ramiro who abuses her and robs people on the side. His brother Octavio is in love with her and shows it by practically raping her every chance they are alone together. So, basically what I took from this movie is that people who are mean and cruel to dogs are also awful people in real life.

Final review: 3/5. I see why so many people love this movie, but it was just too much for me.

Up next: Monty Python and the Holy Grail

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