#349- A Man Escaped

Quick recap: Based on a true story from World War II, a man escapes from prison.

Fun (?) fact: A Man Escaped is based on the story of Andre Devigny who served as a consultant because the director wanted everything as authentic as possible. Devigny even let the cast borrow the hooks and and ropes he made to escape. Oh, and SPOILER ALERT the man does actually escape.

 

My thoughts: Never have I felt so inadequate about myself than last night when I watched this movie. Math and Physics were never my strongest subjects in school and now I realize that if I’m ever locked up for a war crime I didn’t commit, I’m toast. This guy had the most complicated plan, most of which involved making everything on his own and it WORKED. I, on the other hand, would spend months tying knots in my bedsheets only to have them break apart in my hands once I tried to use them. And making my own hook? Forget it! I can’t even handle a pair of scissors without cutting myself. The fact that this story is all true makes it even more amazing.

Judging just on cinematography features and sound alone, this film has rightfully earned its place on this list. The shots are beautiful and capture the suspense and loneliness prisoner Fontaine felt throughout his internment. Throughout most of the film Fontaine is dressed in a simple white shirt and pants that have been splattered in his own blood. No torture scenes are ever shown as that shirt is the only reminder one needs. The same goes for the firing squad who are never shown but their gunshot echoes are some of the most chilling sounds I have heard in a film.

Normally in a blog post about war I’ll say ‘war is hell’ and although this is very definitely a war film, it is also very definitely not. It’s a story of survival and optimism and creativity and it’s also one of the most suspenseful movies I have seen on this list. Many scenes involve Fontaine using a spoon to slowly strip away wooden molding on the door and every single shaving dropped on the floor caused my anxiety level to go up. Even though I just watched the film it’s so hard to imagine that this actually happened to a real person and he survived. The character Fontaine faced the firing squad if he didn’t escape so the stakes were high either way. Still, most people wouldn’t have the courage he did or the perseverance to pull it off.

Final review: 5/5

Up next: A special surprise for #350!

 

 

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#348- The Five Deadly Venoms

Quick recap: 5 former martial arts students have become experts on specific moves that match to animals: the centipede,snake, scorpion, lizard and toad. Their dying instructor believes some of them may be evil and orders his current student to take care of them, even though he has no chance of defeating them.

son, you’ve got a toad on your head

Fun (?) fact: Power Rangers Jungle Fury had a group of enemies called the Five Poison Fingers, an homage to this film.

Mondays got me like…

My thoughts: I’m not beating around the bush for this one: it was awesome and everyone should watch it. It’s currently streaming on Netflix as of August 2018 so what are you waiting for?

So, why is The Five Deadly Venoms so amazing?

  1. It’s dubbed! On the sub versus dub debate, I’m squarely in the sub camp, except when it comes to films like this. Most of the dialogue is people telling how they want to kill someone else so dubbing is the way to go.
  2.  There is good versus evil afoot but also it’s fun to figure out who is actually bad. Right away the audience knows Centipede and Snake are bad news but the rest (and their identities) are rolled out slowly. It added an extra layer of complexity I really enjoyed.
  3. The five venoms were so much fun to watch! I know nothing about kung-fu and seeing people get beaten up gets old after awhile, unless you attach cool animals (and a toad) to the moves. I loved watching each master and recognizing who he was. It was like a Buzzfeed quiz but in real life. Name the Five Venoms to Reveal Your Worst Personality Trait.
  4. It’s campy as hell! The blood looks like candle wax, the sound effects are hilarious and the acting is subpar with a lot of grimacing. On the other hand, the torture scenes were so creative. Did you know you can murder someone with just 5 sheets of paper towels?

This movie didn’t change any perspective I had and it didn’t make me sympathize with a group of people. It was just fun and exactly what I needed at this time.

 

Final review: 5/5

Up next: A Man Escaped

 

#347- Fast Times at Ridgemont High

Quick recap: A group of students navigate a year of high school without much regard to actual learning.

Fun (?) fact: Before he was the lovable scamp we know today, Nicholas Cage got on everyone’s nerves during the shooting of Fast Times at Ridgemont High. He bragged about his famous uncle Francis Ford Coppola and declared he would be more famous than anyone else. He finally shut up when people started doing Apocalypse Now impressions around him.

My thoughts: As much as I’d like to say I was the Spicoli, Stacy or Linda of my high school, in all actuality I most closely identified with Brad’s friend, Arnold. He was the one listening to Brad’s problems and trying to be cool but instead  just ended up burning the hamburger patties and taking a restroom break at the worst possible time. Watching Fast Times at Ridgemont High as a teenager, I never could shake the feeling that I was doing it all wrong. Not that I wanted to get pregnant or show up stoned to class, but there was a part of me that yearned for a quintessential high school experience American cinema had taught me was so important to have.

As an adult who has finally learned that there is no such thing as normal, I can finally embrace this movie for what it is: a teenage fairy tale. Maybe it’s not all that realistic, but it sure is entertaining and definitely captured the 80s spirit I pretend to know anything about. Thinking back on the various high school movies I’ve watched on this list alone, I think I’d much rather attend Ridgemont High than say the high school in Grease, American Graffiti or the Breakfast Club. The kids are just as nuts but at least they feel and talk like real teenagers.

In a way, Fast Times at Ridgemont High is kind of a depressing movie.

Stacy- loses virginity to guy much older than her and then gets knocked up by a guy who doesn’t care about her

Spicoli- constantly embarrassed by his History teacher

Mark- his best friend sleeps and knocks up the girl he is in love with

And the list goes on. But through a different lens, these are all seen as typical teenage problems and nothing to be too concerned with. After all, being an American teenager just means having the most traumatic things happen to you but it’s cool because summer is almost here! Maybe I made the right decision in staying out of drama after all.

Final review: 5/5

Up next: A Man Escaped

#346- The Right Stuff

Quick recap: The mostly true story of America’s first astronauts. And Chuck Yeager, because why not?

Someday, someone will make a 3 hour tour de force about New Kids on the Block and that will be the day no other movie will need to exist.

Fun (?) fact: The astronaut suits were made of leftover fabric and pieces from Cher’s costumes.

fabulous.

My thoughts: I had every intention of loving The Right Stuff, but in the end I just couldn’t do it. What’s not to love, you ask. It’s historical, there are great performances, the music is spectacular and above all, JEFF GOLDBLUM.

I think what ultimately bored me was a lack of suspense. I know, it’s history, and I’m certainly glad director Philip Kaufman didn’t just add an explosion for the hell of it. But there has to be something more than:

a) John Glenn’s wife having a stutter and vice president Johnson wanting to meet with her

b) Gordo being the very last astronaut to go up in space

c) Alan Shapard really needing to pee

d) Gus’s hatch blowing off…..or did it?

John Glenn’s malfunction was the only heartstopping part of the movie, which lasted for 3 hours, mind you. It’s an interesting story, sure. But just not worth my time. Now, with the Chuck Yeager b plot, I have no idea why he was thrown in there but I’m glad he was. I would’ve gladly spent hours watching a biography about him, but only if Sam Shepard can play him. That man can do no wrong in my eyes. Aside from the Yeager throwaways, the movie felt disjointed as a whole. There were really silly comedic parts and avant garde camera shots that just didn’t match with the historical tone of the movie. Pick a lane and stick with it, Kaufman. Movies aren’t meant to be a buffet.

Final review: 3/5

Up next: Fast Times at Ridgemont High