#75- the Bride of Frankenstein

Quick recap: In this heartwarming tale, Frankenstein’s monster is lonely and looking for a mate. Given his penchant for murdering practically everyone, it is decided that the best course of action would be to create a female monster made from dead bodies. How romantic!

Fun (?) fact: Elsa Lanchester, who played The Bride, said that the idea of hissing came from some swans she ran across at a park once. Swans are jerks.

My thoughts: Let’s just get this out of the way: the title of this movie is the most misleading of anything I have ever run across. 1) the Bride is never a bride because she never marries Frankenstein 2) Frankenstein is the name of the creator, not the monster, although I’m just about to give up in that area because people just don’t care and finally, 3) The Bride is onscreen for less than 5 minutes, yet the title makes it seem that this was who the entire movie would be about. Lies. Damn lies.

not the happiest portrait of the couple

not the happiest portrait of the couple

So, what was I expecting? I don’t know. I guess I was hoping for a little more monster romance. I had it built up in my mind that I would get to see Frankenstein’s monster wooing a grotesque monster like himself and then fall head over heels with her. At some point, he would ask for her hand in marriage and her hand would literally POP off! Pure comedy gold, but alas, that is not what I was treated to. Instead, I had to sit through 80 minutes of everyone hating the monster and running away at the very sight of him. He finally finds a friend in a blind priest, only to be run off again. To make things even more depressing, the monster is given a voice and a few words, which make him seem more like a toddler than murderer. In the final scene, as the monster gets to meet the love of his life, his hopes are dashed when she hisses at him. Literally hisses. Who does that? Realizing the only thing that could possibly love him is instead repulsed by his very existence, he decides to blow the castle up and end it all.

MORE LIES

MORE LIES

Final review: 2/5. I don’t see what was remotely scary about this movie. It should be relabeled as one of the most depressing films of all time.

Up next: Groundhog Day, because of course.

 

#68- Onibaba

Quick recap: Two women, an old woman and daughter-in-law, make a living by killing soldiers and then selling their armor for money in medieval Japan . One day, the old woman kills a soldier who was wearing a demon mask. She then uses the mask to keep her daughter-in-law from having sex with the creepy guy next door, because that’s apparently how problems were solved back then.

the good old days

the good old days

Fun (?) fact: When the old woman removes the demon mask from the dead soldier, she is greeted with a gruesome, disfigured face. The director has stated that the makeup effects were supposed to symbolize A-bomb survivors and how they were seen as outcasts.

My thoughts: I realize that I have seen a lot of foreign films lately, which has its pros and cons. On one hand, I’m getting to watch something that most people claim they know about, but really don’t. On the other hand, I have to be really cautious to remember that ‘foreign’ isn’t a genre of movie. As I watched Onibaba, I was reminded on several occasions of another Japanese film, The Woman in the Dunes. In reality, there really isn’t much the two have in common, except for their language. This project has become a bit more complicated as I am starting to reassess some of my views on movies.

Since I mentioned genre, I think it’s fitting to add that Onibaba  is considered a horror film to many people. That strikes me as odd because the mask doesn’t even show up until the last half to two thirds of the film. Most of the film is comprised of the daughter in law sneaking out of her hut to get with the creepy neighbor and the old woman being angry about it. I suppose that the first few scenes that show the woman killing the soldiers and then throwing them in a pit may seem scary, but I wouldn’t classify the whole film as ‘horror’. The mask itself was rightfully scary, especially when the daughter-in-law encountered it in the reeds and the final scene where the old woman finds she can’t remove the mask is also unnerving. But not a horror film ,in my opinion.

I'd say this demon was just bad at getting its picture taken, than scary

I’d say this demon was just bad at getting its picture taken, more so than scary

Another reason why I don’t believe Onibaba to be a horror film is because the movie doesn’t center on the mask, but instead the conflict between the two women. Hachi, the creepy neighbor returns from war at the beginning of the movie with bad news. His friend, the old woman’s son, and daugther-in-law’s husband, has been killed. As can be expected, everyone is sad about the whole affair, although not very long because Hachi almost immediately starts hitting on the daughter-in-law. She refuses him at first, mainly because that would be a jerk move, to see another guy while you are still living with your mother-in-law and your husband has only recently died. But soon, feelings overtake her and she starts sneaking out and having sex with him. Now if this had been a modern movie, we might have expected the old woman to sit the girl down and tell her to stop being a jerk. But of course, that’s not what happens. Instead, the old woman tries to convince the girl that a demon will get her if she continues seeing Hachi. The girl doesn’t listen because, you know, sex. So then the old woman tries to come on to Hachi and offer herself instead. He refuses because the old woman is kind of creepy. It just seems like a lot was done to keep the girl from seeing Hachi instead of actually talking to her. I found the situation much more amusing than scary.

On a different note, I am once again surprised by what was allowed back in 1964. There is lots of random nudity and of course sexual scenes. I’m pretty sure there is male frontal nudity as well because at some point the young couple just said ‘screw it’, and started running around naked to piss off the old woman. The scenes where the soldiers are killed are also violent, almost on par with what you might see today.

This actor really played up the role of 'creepy neighbor' more so than 'sexy man'

This actor really played up the role of ‘creepy neighbor’ more so than ‘sexy man’

Final review: 2/5. The movie ends when the old woman realizes that she is being punished for meddling in between her daughter-in-law and Hachi but also Hachi gets killed so everyone learns a valuable lesson about something. I wouldn’t sit through this again or even recommend it.

Up next: Cleo from 5 to 7 or Brazil

#66- Murmur of the Heart

Quick recap: Laurent is a 15 year old boy who desperately wants to lose his virginity(don’t they all?).IMDb describes this movie as a ‘jolly coming of age story’, which I totally agree with, except for the incest.

Fun (?) fact: Director Louis Malle says the movie is mostly autobiographical, except for the sexual relations with his mother. What a relief!

My thoughts: So, Murmur of the Heart is a French film.  I feel like it’s important to point this out because I just don’t believe something like this would’ve ever been ok to American audiences. When looking at it from my perspective as an American girl, every scene seemed outrageous- from the young boys smoking, to the priest coming on to Laurent, and of course, the incest. But maybe if I had been French, only the last scene would’ve been shocking. I recognize that a different culture is at play here so there is no point in judging that, but it’s also impossible to ignore my natural bias.

For starters, I never really warmed up to the character of Laurent. Once again, it might be my bias, but I could never identify with him. Through the entirety of the film, I felt like I was watching something that wasn’t meant for me. As a girl, I have my own share of stories of what it was like in high school as I matured and the awkwardness of it all. And how intimidating it was when I got to college and it felt like all of the guys had so much more experience than I did. But then while watching this movie I realized that a boy going through puberty was no walk in the park, either. For Laurent, it was even more rough having two older brothers constantly pushing him to lose his virginity. It was one of those moments where I felt like I was going ‘behind the scenes’ and entering into a world I knew nothing about.

Everyone seemed to have a relaxed attitude about sex in the film, which once again, seemed shocking to me but might be the norm elsewhere. The second half of the movie takes place in a sanitarium where Laurent recovers from a heart murmur (get it?!? He had a legit medical condition but it was also his symbolic heart! So. Deep). Although he had suspected it, he learns that his mother is having an affair and he wishes her good luck in the endeavor. When she leaves for a couple of days to spend time with her lover, Laurent turns even less likable. There is one girl that he has set his sights on but when she rejects him he calls her a lesbian and becomes upset. Her parents witness the whole thing and even though they seemed offended they didn’t even have him thrown out. Then in a later scene, during Bastille Day, Laurent is back to talking to the girl. He continues to say offensive things and tries to kiss her, but she never really gets too angry about the whole thing. It was as if everyone had the attitude of ‘boys will be boys’.

And finally, we come to the scene with Laurent and his mother. I think the less said about it the better, although I will mention how grateful I was that the entire encounter was only implied and nothing was shown. After it is over, Laurent’s mother tells him that she will think of the time fondly, but that it will never happen again. Laurent seems satisfied by this and I guess the whole thing gave him courage because he ends up sneaking out and having sex with some girl. When he comes back into the room the next morning, he sees his entire family waiting on him. His father talks sternly to him at first but then everyone bursts out laughing, and the movie (thankfully) ends.

Final review: 2/5. On a positive note, I’ve been learning French and was quite pleased to recognize about 10 different words during the movie.

Up next: Kiss me Deadly

 

#64- Mildred Pierce

Quick recap: Mildred Pierce is the story of a woman who started out as a housewife whose husband had just left her, to becoming a successful restaurant owner. Her life seems perfect, except for the fact that her second husband is only in it for the money and her daughter Veda is about as spoiled as you can get. It’s almost as if there is a lesson to be learned here, maybe something about money and selling out?

Joan Crawford as Mildred Pierce

Joan Crawford as Mildred Pierce

Fun (?) fact: Nobody really wanted Joan Crawford in this movie. Everyone was gunning for Bette Davis, but when she turned it down, they had no choice. Crawford ended up earning an Academy award for her performance, but that didn’t change the fact that people didn’t much care for her.

This probably didn't help her image much

This probably didn’t help her image much

My thoughts: At this point in my list, nothing strikes more fear in me than the word ‘melodrama’. As has previously been noted, I am not a fan of the genre. It just seems like such a cheap way to do cinema: to tug on the heartsrings of the audience and make them love you. On the other hand, the formula works. This movie did very well in its time and won several awards. I’m sure that back when it was first released, it was a film that appealed to a wide audience and had many plot points that people loved to discuss. I do understand why it made the list, but it just wasn’t the movie for me.

For starters, nothing screams ‘melodrama!’ more than someone getting murdered during the very first scene of the film. And as what has become my pet peeve, the death was in no way realistic. I don’t know why I expected more because that was just how you did things back then. But it just made the movie seem even more cheap and hokey.

Although I didn’t love the plot, I do think some of the actors did a fine job telling the story. The actress who played Veda was my favorite. She played the bratty socialite to perfection. She did a fine job showing her true colors, as well as attempting to hide them when she was trying to get what she wanted. The performance I didn’t love, however, was that of Joan Crawford. I admit that there was some bias beforehand, because the only thing I knew about her was ‘Mommie Dearest’.I wavered back and forth throughout the entire movie, trying to decide if I could really see her talent or not. And even now, I don’t know. The movie called for a strong woman, someone who doesn’t crumble in the face of adversity, and Crawford plays that like no one else can. But also, the character of Mildred Pierce is supposed to invoke sympathy with the audience. I was supposed to sit there and think, ‘oh my god, that poor woman’, and I didn’t feel that way at all. Crawford could never seem to lose the ‘bitch’ face, like when she was interacting with her children. The acting stopped being realistic and started to take on the melodrama title proudly.

I think I want to be Joan Crawford for Halloween next year

I think I want to be Joan Crawford for Halloween next year

The revelation that Veda was the real killer was not a surprise, but I liked that the movie turned salacious when it was revealed she was having an affair with Pierce’s second husband. I’m sure that was shocking at the time. The twist seemed reminiscent of a VC Andrews book, which, if she were still alive, Joan Crawford would’ve been perfect for a role in an adaptation of any one of those books.

Final review: 2/5. Melodrama.

Up next: most likely Brokeback Mountain