Category Archives: Movies

#277- Nosferatu

Quick recap: Nosferatu is just a vampire doing vampire things.

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‘the death ship had a new captain’- If that’s not the most emo title for a song, I don’t know what is

Fun (?) fact: The creature the guests at the inn called a werewolf was actually a hyena. I knew it! Also, I have many questions as to how it was easier to get a hyena than a wolf.

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You’re a vampire, buddy. Stop being a creeper and go bite that neck.

My thoughts: Welcome to Horrorfest 2016, where I watch only horror films from my list. I saw Funny Games a few years ago during this time so I don’t think I’ll be traumatized much this year, but you never know. Nosferatu wasn’t scary unfortunately, but it’s such a classic that I didn’t really mind.

I got a chance to watch Nosferatu at the Drafthouse with a live band that wrote an original score. Yes, it was as badass as you imagine it could be. I’ve had the pleasure of watching a few silent films at the theater now, and each time it makes me wish I could watch all films this way. Sitting on my couch, even with the lights off, wouldn’t have made Nosferatu creepy but when there is a haunting score mixed with other-worldly whispering, it really turned the mood into something more sinister.

Nosferatu as a character didn’t scare me in the slightest. In fact, I kind of felt sorry for him because he was so weird looking. His teeth reminded me more of a rabbit than vampire and the way he moved just made him seem like an old guy with really poor social skills, especially the scene of him running around town with his coffin full of dirt. It was then that he seemed more scamp than menacing vampire.

The concept of Nosferatu,rather than the character Nosferatu, stuck with me long after the movie was over. There was something so haunting about evil moving into a town that had no idea what was about to happen and powerless to stop it. It reminded me a little of the recent Ebola outbreaks in villages and how neighbors just had to sit back and watch as death consumed the people they loved. This may be a vampire story, but the idea sure isn’t.

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Final review: 4/5. Next time, less bunny teeth and I’ll be more scared.

Up next: more Horrorfest!

 

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#276- Lola Montés

Quick recap: Lola Montés is based off the real life dancer and courtesan Lola Montez. The film jumps through several points of Montés’ life from her rise to fame, her various lovers and her sad ending as a spectacle at the circus.

 

 

reminds me of a certain courtesan who danced at the Moulin Rouge

reminds me of a certain courtesan who danced at the Moulin Rouge

Fun (?) fact: Back in 1955, audiences didn’t like that the movie jumped around chronologically so it was re-edited so that events were shown in order. Audiences liked that even less and the movie initially bombed at the box office, thus proving that this is why we can’t have nice things.

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My thoughts: Here’s a great ‘Yo Momma’ joke: ‘Yo Momma’s so easy that she became a sideshow freak because she slept with so many guys!’ Okay, that might not be a GREAT joke, but this is the 1800s we are talking about, so work with me on this. Lola Montés is a beautiful film about a disgraced woman who ends up in the circus, which is kind of a crazy place to end up. But it’s also kind of motivating? Like, I’ve done some stupid things in my life but I haven’t been made to join the circus yet so I’m at least doing something right.

For about 75% of the movie, I was convinced that this was one of the greatest films I have ever seen. There was so much symbolism and so many great metaphors about double standards for women. When men sleep around, they are considered heroes but when women do it, they are freaks. There’s a scene at the end of the film where men can pay a dollar to kiss the hand of such a sleazy woman. It’s beautifully tragic to see her standing there, behind bars as men stand in line for the chance to touch her. But at some point, I realized that no, this is literally about a woman who sleeps with rich white guys and joins the circus because she can’t find anyone to take care of her anymore. Still sad, but no longer tragic when it’s a literal circus and not a metaphorical one.

As beautiful as the colors and costumes were, the acting left a lot to be desired. Martine Carol, who played Montés, was the perfect fit for the role but at the same time she didn’t really do much except sit there and look pretty or sad. I think it’s why I didn’t go full force in feeling sorry for her. And the guys she hooked up with were certainly rich and very white, but I didn’t get that there was much going on in the relationship besides sex. Which is basically what a courtesan is,I suppose. Or maybe it’s just the bias I have towards another tragic courtesan who learned that the greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.

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Final review: 3/5. Not bad, but also meh.

Up next: HORRORFEST

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#275- No Country for Old Men

Quick recap: Llewelyn Moss is caught in a deadly cat and mouse game when he stumbles upon a drug deal gone wrong.

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But, like, more violent

Fun (?) fact:  While filming in Marfa, Texas, shooting was halted for the day when a cloud of dark smoke came into view. It turned out to be a pyrotechnics testing for the movie There Will be Blood, which was filming nearby.

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Only the Coen brothers could find the most perfect haircut for a maniac

My thoughts: It’s no secret that I love the Coen brothers. Or maybe some people don’t know,but that would be a totally lame secret to have in the first place,tbh. Anyway, I love them and they can do no wrong, not even with Burn After Reading, which I think is underrated. No Country for Old Men is a different monster, though. Many of the same trademarks are there, but this film just feels different. It’s darker, more violent and less funny than their previous projects. And it is perfect.

I don’t use the word ‘perfect’ lightly, except for all those times I’ve used the word ‘perfect’ lightly. But that’s just what this film is. I can’t find fault in it, not that I’ve tried all that hard. Take the music, for example. There is none. At all. And with most other movies, this would bother me. Not this movie, though. No music really heightened the feeling of dread I got anytime Anton Chigurh was onscreen, and it felt as though he could be outside hunting me too. The scenery is another home run for me, not just because it’s in Texas, but it’s the most gorgeous part of Texas. I’ve been talking about a road trip to Marfa for years now and maybe subconsciously I’ve been thinking about this movie and that’s why I haven’t gone. It’s so desolate out there and perfect for just the sort of thing that played out onscreen.

But really, just like any good Coen brothers film, I’m in it for the characters. There isn’t a lot of dialogue, but there doesn’t need to be. I still don’t really understand the ending but I also kind of like that. It is what it is and it always will be that way. That’s good enough for me.

Final review: 5/5

Up next: the Sins of Lola Martès

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#274- Enter the Dragon

Quick recap: Bruce Lee schools everyone with his sick moves.

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Word.

Fun (?) fact: Bruce Lee struck Jackie Chan in the face with fighting sticks and to make it up to him, promised that he could work on all of his movies. Lee died before being able to fulfill that promise.

The only move I know

The only move I know

My thoughts: Fighting movies aren’t really my thing, especially after watching Once Upon a Time in China.  I knew Enter the Dragon wouldn’t be as complicated, but I was still weary that the fighting and general ass kicking would get old after awhile. Fortunately, it did not. I think what sucked me in from the beginning was Bruce Lee. I was expecting a kung fu machine, but he was really funny at times and his acting was much more expressive than I thought it would be. Jim Kelly, who played Williams was a delight and I have half a mind to find all of his later films and watch them because he was so wonderful.

As I mentioned, Enter the Dragon is about as straightforward as it gets. Bruce Lee, who played Lee, is on a mission to take down Han, who is involved in everything from heroin smuggling to prostitute murders. The bad guy is a super bad guy, which is nice to just have someone who is evil and doesn’t have baggage as to why he is evil. Robert Wall plays Oharra, another bad guy with shockingly beautiful hair. Every time he was onscreen fighting, he looked like he had just finished a rehearsal set with the Bee Gees, which is actually a really great idea for a movie.

You won't be Stayin' Alive when I'm through with you

You won’t be Stayin’ Alive when I’m through with you

The only part of the movie that I didn’t love was the ending, when Bruce Lee went into full force ass-kicking mode. I loved the mirror scene, but shot after shot of beating up bad guys just didn’t do much for me. I appreciate how amazing Lee was and even though the effects might be 100% real, they take someone with an impressive amount of skills as well as restraint to pull them off. I can’t imagine anyone else in that role besides Bruce Lee.

Final review: 4/5

Up next: No Country for Old Men

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