Quick recap: Lola Montés is based off the real life dancer and courtesan Lola Montez. The film jumps through several points of Montés’ life from her rise to fame, her various lovers and her sad ending as a spectacle at the circus.

reminds me of a certain courtesan who danced at the Moulin Rouge

Fun (?) fact: Back in 1955, audiences didn’t like that the movie jumped around chronologically so it was re-edited so that events were shown in order. Audiences liked that even less and the movie initially bombed at the box office, thus proving that this is why we can’t have nice things.

My thoughts: Here’s a great ‘Yo Momma’ joke: ‘Yo Momma’s so easy that she became a sideshow freak because she slept with so many guys!’ Okay, that might not be a GREAT joke, but this is the 1800s we are talking about, so work with me on this. Lola Montés is a beautiful film about a disgraced woman who ends up in the circus, which is kind of a crazy place to end up. But it’s also kind of motivating? Like, I’ve done some stupid things in my life but I haven’t been made to join the circus yet so I’m at least doing something right.

For about 75% of the movie, I was convinced that this was one of the greatest films I have ever seen. There was so much symbolism and so many great metaphors about double standards for women. When men sleep around, they are considered heroes but when women do it, they are freaks. There’s a scene at the end of the film where men can pay a dollar to kiss the hand of such a sleazy woman. It’s beautifully tragic to see her standing there, behind bars as men stand in line for the chance to touch her. But at some point, I realized that no, this is literally about a woman who sleeps with rich white guys and joins the circus because she can’t find anyone to take care of her anymore. Still sad, but no longer tragic when it’s a literal circus and not a metaphorical one.

As beautiful as the colors and costumes were, the acting left a lot to be desired. Martine Carol, who played Montés, was the perfect fit for the role but at the same time she didn’t really do much except sit there and look pretty or sad. I think it’s why I didn’t go full force in feeling sorry for her. And the guys she hooked up with were certainly rich and very white, but I didn’t get that there was much going on in the relationship besides sex. Which is basically what a courtesan is,I suppose. Or maybe it’s just the bias I have towards another tragic courtesan who learned that the greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.

Final review: 3/5. Not bad, but also meh.

Up next: HORRORFEST