#285- The Natural

Quick recap: Roy Hobbs appears seemingly out of nowhere to join a baseball league and in the span of one season becomes a legend.

look at him go!

look at him go!

Fun (?) fact: ‘Shoeless’ Joe Jackson was one of the inspirations for the character of Roy Hobbs. I’m sure there are more interesting facts out there about this movie, but my knowledge of baseball is very tiny and this was the only name I recognized.

 

My thoughts: Being left-handed, my dad used to joke with me that I would make an excellent baseball player. I loved the idea, but the truth was that the sport terrified me growing up. I played softball for a few seasons and I remember my mother bribing me with money if I would at least swing the bat and not cower in fear. No dice, mother. I still love the concept of the game, but I’ll leave it up to the professionals and tiny children who are braver than me to play.

So, Robert Redford, who played Roy Hobbs, was basically made for this role. His character is almost sickingly sweet with his high morals, but it works in this context of an old fashioned baseball legend. Any other person playing the role and I would’ve scoffed my way through the film, but with Robert Redford as the lead, I’ll let it slide. I have no idea if he plays baseball in real life, but he seems like the sort of person that would join a game for the fun of it.

The plot didn’t do much for me, but I can’t really remember why. My thoughts kind of glazed over at some point into a patriotic babble of apple pie, cookouts and playing catch with the Old Man. The Natural is one of those movies that gets passed down between father and son to strengthen an already intimate bond. It doesn’t really matter what happens because in the end, everyone is happy and America continues marching forward and bald eagles soar and……you get the picture.

Final review: 4/5. I thought about something lower but I feel any less would be unpatriotic.

Up next: Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

 

#278- The Fly

Quick recap: National treasure Jeff Goldblum plays Sam Brundle, an eccentric scientist who accidentally turns himself into a human-fly hybrid.

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Fun (?) fact: In a deleted scene, Brundle fuses together a cat and baboon and is so disgusted with the creation that he  beats the animal to death with a pipe. Producer Stuart Cornfeld said, ‘If you beat an animal to death, even a monkey-cat, your audience is not gonna be interested in your problems anymore.’

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National treasure, you guys

My thoughts: I’ve made some really bad choices when it comes to guys I’ve dated, but at the very least I can say I’ve never fallen for an eccentric scientist who fuses his DNA with a fly and then impregnates me with his Maybe Fly Spawn. I’m a mess, but not Geena Davis in The Fly kind of a mess. So, there’s that inspiration.

I was warned by my husband that his movie was super gross and I should maybe rethink watching it. Boy, was he right! It didn’t start off disgusting, and I got kind of bored after awhile with the build up. But then, there was a scene where Brundle peeled off his fingernails and I almost lost it. It all went downhill from there. The Fly didn’t terrify me, but it stuck with me in a way most movies won’t. Even now, almost a week after watching it, I’ll randomly think of the scene where Brundle vomits on his food to liquify it and it will make me queasy. In that sense, The Fly is a perfect example of a horror film.

Vincent Price, who was in the original Fly loved the remake but thought it went a little too far at the end. Totally agreed. I think a good stopping point would’ve been the nightmare of giving birth to the Fly Spawn or when BrundleFly detailed how he ate his food. But all that stuff of him trying to kill the ex-boyfriend and then fusing himself with the teleporter was just over the top for me. I still felt sorry for him in a way, kind of, but I would’ve had no problems killing that mess at the end. And can we talk for just a second about Geena Davis’ character, Veronica? That girl has issues. She dated a jerk of a guy and then immediately fell for this eccentric weirdo. I mean, I guess he was cute, but him drunkenly teleporting himself because he was jealous would’ve been it for me. But not for Veronica. She kept coming by, even when he had completely turned insane and terrifying. She couldn’t have seen this coming but geez, girl, get some standards.

The Cronenberg Universe in Rick and Morty makes so much more sense now

The Cronenberg Universe in Rick and Morty makes so much more sense now

Final review: 3/5. I wavered on this one, almost giving it a 4 but I’ll be too scarred to eat donuts for quite awhile.

Up next: HORRORFEST

 

#270- Raiders of the Lost Ark

Quick recap: Han Solo is in a race to find the fabled Ark of the Covenant before the Nazis do.

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Fun (?) fact: During filming, nearly all of the cast and crew contracted food poisoning at some point, except Steven Spielberg who only ate cans of Spaghetti-Os.

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My thoughts: As seems to be the case with really popular movies lately, this was my first time watching Raiders of the Lost Ark. I don’t really have a reason for not watching sooner, except that Adventure movies aren’t really my thing. This movie didn’t change that for me, but I can at least appreciate what it did to the genre.

I’m certainly not on the Spielberg Hate Wagon ( great band name, FYI), but his director trademarks can be tiresome. Thankfully, Raiders of the Lost Ark kept sappiness and deep seated daddy issues at bay. I am glad, however, that he stuck with his old pal John Williams to create a wonderfully memorable soundtrack. It’s not my favorite of their collaboration, but it was perfect for the movie and really amped up all the action scenes.

The action scenes themselves were the main ‘wow’ factor and I loved the homage to older adventure films where it seemed someone was in danger every few minutes. It’s delightfully ridiculous at times, but also amazing to see how perfectly executed everything is. And Harrison Ford was perfect for the role, of course. No one can play know-it-all ass like he can. Dare I say that I prefer him as Indiana Jones over Han Solo? I feel like I should soak myself in holy water for even thinking something so blasphemous.

My only complaint with the movie is a very minor, personal one, as most complaints tend to be. Being the geek I am, I was most on the edge of my seat during any conversation about the Ark of the Covenant. There’s so much history here! Archeology has interested me for a long time so I’m probably the only person out there who could’ve gone with more talking and less action.

Final review: 5/5 because of course!

Up next: Planet of the Apes

 

#269- The Princess Bride

Quick recap: A classic fairy tale- kings, queens, knights, pirates and Billy Crystal.

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Fun (?) fact: Cary Elwes, who played Westley, later continued his stunning career by playing the villain in Twister. Yes, there was a villain. No, it wasn’t the tornado. OR WAS IT?

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Jonas! Why didn’t you just listen to Bill Paxton? WHYYYYY??

My thoughts: Before I start the review, let me make a couple of points: 1 being that I didn’t watch The Princess Bride until I was an adult and 2 yes I do have a sense of humor and anyways, my mom thinks I’m hilarious so isn’t that all that really matters in the end?

As you probably already guessed, I didn’t really care for this movie. It’s not to say I didn’t like it or that I thought it wasn’t very good. I mostly just don’t get the cult following it has. The local Alamo Drafthouse does Princess Bride quote-alongs often, at almost the same frequency as Monty Python and the Holy Grail, which is just downright silly to me. I was entertained but not to the point that I would watch this 20 times in a row and then squeal with delight every time someone made a reference to the movie.

I truly feel like I’m being unfair to this movie, having only seen it as a jaded, cold-hearted adult. My six year old loved it, so to me, The Princess Bride did its job. He cracks up every time he hears the ‘My name is Inigo Montoya’ quote and it’s not hard for me to imagine him one day growing up and watching a midnight screening at a local movie theater to bring back all those good childhood memories. As for me? I thought it was a sweet movie and creative, and yes, even funny sometimes, but ultimately, a little out of my age range. Sorry.

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Final review: 3/5

Up next: Happiness