#223- A Christmas Story

Quick recap: A young boy wants a BB gun for Christmas and this is his story. A Christmas story, if you will.

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Me, most days

Fun (?) fact: The raunchy comedy Porky’s is the reason we have A Christmas Story. Bob Clark directed both and the success he got from Porky’s allowed him to venture into the world of holiday movies.

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Me, most days

My thoughts: Merry holidays to you and welcome to a SPECIAL EDITION of my blog. I never do timely reviews, except for that whole month of timely reviews I do in October. And all those times I reviewed war movies during American holidays. But this is legit timely, so let’s get on with it.

So, yes, I have seen A Christmas Story many times (I’m not a monster), but my husband hasn’t (probably not a monster, but this doesn’t help his case).He grew up in a more sentimental setting, whereas I’m not a ‘Christmas’ person at all- I don’t watch holiday movies, I don’t do Elf on the Shelf, and I don’t decorate the house. Really, A Christmas Story is about the only movie I can stomach, which is about a good of a review that I could possibly give it.

It’s really difficult to pin down whether this is a ‘good’ movie or just a better movie than what else is out there. It’s been a few years since I have seen it and I was a little worried that it wouldn’t hold up like I wanted it to. A few minutes in, however, I realized there was nothing to worry about. Many of the scenes that everyone loves- the lamp, Randy eating like a pig, the bunny suit- are legitimately funny, and even my husband laughed so we can stay married for now. I was also relieved that the film never dips into schmaltz or sentimentality. There are sweet scenes, but nothing that made me roll my eyes.

I think the reason I gravitate towards A Christmas Story is because it is closer to real life than other holiday films. Ralphie’s family isn’t perfect by a long shot and they aren’t in search of holiday spirit or a Christmas miracle. It’s a simple story about a kid that really wants something for Christmas and then gets it. I can get behind that.

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Me, most days

Final review: 4/5 because I can’t bring myself to give a Christmas film a perfect score.

Up next: 8 1/2

 

#214- The Vanishing

Quick recap: A young man and woman, Rex and Saskia, go on vacation together, when Saskia disappears. If that wasn’t bad enough, he starts getting letters from her abductor, driving him to the brink of insanity.

Whatcha thinking about? Oh, I don't know. Murdering stuff, I guess.

Whatcha thinking about?
Oh, I don’t know. Murdering stuff, I guess.

Fun (?) fact: The story is based off of an urban legend where a mother and daughter check into a hotel for the Paris Exposition of 1901. The daughter goes downstairs to a shop and when she returns to the room, her mother is missing and no one she asks knows anything. If this sounds familiar, it’s also been the basis for at least 5 other films.

Honestly, being stuck inside this tunnel is the scariest part of this film

Honestly, being stuck inside this tunnel is the scariest part of this film

My thoughts: Now that Horrorfest has come to a close, I realize that my theme this year was actually, ‘horror movies that aren’t’. The Vanishing fits perfectly in the mystery and thriller section, but I just don’t see how horror comes up. The concept of someone vanishing is scary, but not in a ‘can’t turn off the lights’ sort of scary. I really enjoyed this movie, but I’m disappointed to have ended the month without seeing very many horror films.

I’m going to skip through all of my usual stuff about the acting, music, dialogue and what-not to say that the reason to watch this film is for the ending. Spoiler alert now, although this film is from 1988 so if you don’t want to be spoiled about 30 year old movies, the internet isn’t the place for you. Anyway, most of the film goes in the direction I expected it to: girl vanishes, guy looks for her to the point of insanity. What I liked was that interspersed in that plot is the abductor’s story. He’s a totally normal guy, with a family, a job as a professor, and a hobby for attempting to abduct and murder young woman. Perfectly normal. He describes himself as a sociopath, which is thrown around a lot in these films, but really applies to this guy. Sociopaths can still be functioning members of society and many of them aren’t murderous insane people, but they lack empathy, which brings its own set of problems. Raymond, the abductor, isn’t your typical villain because he sees the abduction as an experiment of sorts. I can’t figure out if that makes him scarier or less scarier, but it’s definitely creepy. When he finally meets Rex, he has no problem telling him the story, thus admitting his involvement. It’s not like he is bragging, but at the same time, he seems proud of himself for finally getting the details right and going through the abduction.

The scenes with Rex and Raymond in the car are deeply unsettling. Still not in horror territory, but still unnerving. It’s 3 years later and Rex, as mentioned before, can barely function doing anything else besides looking for Saskia. When Raymond offers him the opportunity to find out what became of her, he turns it down at first because it involves taking a sleeping pill and going unconscious. The decision is really difficult: take the pill and find out what happens and risk dying yourself, or never finding out and continue a life that isn’t worth much anymore. So, he takes the pill and then the next scene is of Rex trapped in a coffin, while Raymond covers him with dirt. It wasn’t unexpected because there is no way Saskia could still be alive, yet I still hoped there would be some sort of twist and everything would be ok. And I guess it is a happy ending, because Rex, although dead, found out what happened, and Raymond has the pleasure of having killed two people. The final scene is of him sitting serenely outside, watching his children play and his wife water the bushes where his victims are buried.

Final review: 4/5 A solid movie but not horror.

Up next: Juliet of the Spirits

#211- Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer

Quick recap: Henry is a serial killer with a heart of gold.

…..That’s pretty much all it’s about, honestly.

Michael Rooker (Henry) looks like a cross between Heath Ledger and Lyle Lovett. Squint a little and you can totally see it.

Michael Rooker (Henry) looks like a cross between Heath Ledger and Lyle Lovett. Squint a little and you can totally see it.

Fun (?) fact: Lots of good trivia on this movie, but my favorite is that the music was mixed in a studio run by a group of Christian rock and roll guys. They weren’t amused when they learned the music was going towards a film so disturbing. IF you listen to the music, though, I don’t see what else it could have gone to besides a horror film.

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My thoughts: According to Netflix and my 1001 movies book, Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer is one of the ‘most disturbing films of all time.’ Cue eye roll. Of the movies I have seen on this list so far, I would give the title of Most Disturbing to Funny Games because not only did it have gore, it also made the viewer an accomplice by breaking the fourth wall. I wasn’t scared in the least bit by Henry, but I can say I was adequately disturbed. Not overly so, but disturbed nonetheless.

For one thing, Henry is so different than the other serial killers pop culture knows. He doesn’t have a pattern or reason why he kills; he just does. Sometimes he is angry, sometimes it’s for revenge, sometimes it’s for fun and sometimes it’s because he’s had a bad day and what better way to relax than to break a hooker’s neck? There is a romance (and I use that term in the loosest since possible) plot and for awhile, I bought into it, thinking that Henry would settle down once he gets with this girl. NOPE. Some of the deaths were a little on the disturbing side, but the dead bodies didn’t seem all that realistic to me so that was a little underwhelming. Still, it was nice to have a killer that I actually hated for once and didn’t feel any sort of emotional attachment to.

One of the other things that caught my attention with this movie is that it doesn’t have a happy ending. I won’t spoil what happens for once, but it’s definitely not happy. Which I like, because horror movies that end with everything back to normal kind of sucks the fun out of the whole thing. This one wants you to feel as uncomfortable as possible with your surroundings. The director deliberately left out any reference to cops or anything because he wanted the audience to feel like this is a lawless place, where killers are allowed to roam free. Add to that, this movie barely has a plot. Most of the time it’s just Henry meeting someone and then killing them in some way. In the beginning, I was hopeful that someone was going to do something about all of this but by the end I had pretty much accepted my fate and knew that no character was safe.

It's set in Chicago, a town not normally known for having a bunch of murders.

It’s set in Chicago, a town not normally known for having a bunch of murders.

Final review: This was a tough one because although I appreciate what the movie was trying to accomplish, I just didn’t really enjoy it. It was disturbing in all of the wrong ways (incest, for example). 2/5

Up next: HorrorFest!

#205-Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

Quick recap: A man finds out that the girl he made out with is really his sister. More family problems arise when he confronts his deadbeat father, hoping to change his ways before it is too late.

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Fun (?) fact: All of the Ewok actors quit at one point, in protest of the tough outdoor conditions (being a teddy bear with creepy lips is tough). They eventually returned, all wearing ‘Revenge of the Ewok’ t-shirts.

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My thoughts: Once again, I’m sort of at a loss as to what to write about the final Star Wars episode this book has (the editors wisely passed on adding in episodes 1-3). I realized while watching Return of the Jedi, that this might be my favorite of the three. I’ve always said it was Empire Strikes Back, because it’s so dark and there are so many important things that happen. This movie, however, is just fun, something that I think gets overlooked when it comes to the franchise as a whole (I’m talking to you guys who bombarded the Toys R Us and bought all the toys before kids could get their hands on them). This is the film that gets me excited for new movies, and it is the one I hoped my son would enjoy most, also.

One of the biggest turn-offs serious fans have are the Ewoks, and I admit that they are pretty silly. At the same time, they also fit in perfectly within the narrative. I never loved them, but I didn’t mind them, either. My six year old LOVES Chewbacca, so he naturally gravitated toward these creatures, and I think having them in the movie made him appreciate what he was watching a little more.

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As for a favorite scene or part, it’s a toss up between Jabba the Hutt and the Emperor trying to entice Luke to give in to his anger. Both scenes are a great representation of Luke’s character, and also how much he has matured since he was a whiny kid back in Episode IV. This is the hero that everyone wants, yet his greatest strength is not in himself, but the people (and family) he is surrounded by. I also loved the ending between Anakin and Luke. Yes, Darth Vader was evil, but that wasn’t always the case. In a positive light, it means that there is good inside all of us. In a negative light, it means any of us can head down that path without really realizing what we are doing.

Never mind. Darth Vader turned Incredible Hulk will always be my favorite thing.

Never mind. Darth Vader turned Incredible Hulk will always be my favorite thing.

Final review: 5/5 of course

Up next: Zero for Conduct, which If… is based off of