#75- the Bride of Frankenstein

Quick recap: In this heartwarming tale, Frankenstein’s monster is lonely and looking for a mate. Given his penchant for murdering practically everyone, it is decided that the best course of action would be to create a female monster made from dead bodies. How romantic!

Fun (?) fact: Elsa Lanchester, who played The Bride, said that the idea of hissing came from some swans she ran across at a park once. Swans are jerks.

My thoughts: Let’s just get this out of the way: the title of this movie is the most misleading of anything I have ever run across. 1) the Bride is never a bride because she never marries Frankenstein 2) Frankenstein is the name of the creator, not the monster, although I’m just about to give up in that area because people just don’t care and finally, 3) The Bride is onscreen for less than 5 minutes, yet the title makes it seem that this was who the entire movie would be about. Lies. Damn lies.

not the happiest portrait of the couple

not the happiest portrait of the couple

So, what was I expecting? I don’t know. I guess I was hoping for a little more monster romance. I had it built up in my mind that I would get to see Frankenstein’s monster wooing a grotesque monster like himself and then fall head over heels with her. At some point, he would ask for her hand in marriage and her hand would literally POP off! Pure comedy gold, but alas, that is not what I was treated to. Instead, I had to sit through 80 minutes of everyone hating the monster and running away at the very sight of him. He finally finds a friend in a blind priest, only to be run off again. To make things even more depressing, the monster is given a voice and a few words, which make him seem more like a toddler than murderer. In the final scene, as the monster gets to meet the love of his life, his hopes are dashed when she hisses at him. Literally hisses. Who does that? Realizing the only thing that could possibly love him is instead repulsed by his very existence, he decides to blow the castle up and end it all.

MORE LIES

MORE LIES

Final review: 2/5. I don’t see what was remotely scary about this movie. It should be relabeled as one of the most depressing films of all time.

Up next: Groundhog Day, because of course.

 

#68- Onibaba

Quick recap: Two women, an old woman and daughter-in-law, make a living by killing soldiers and then selling their armor for money in medieval Japan . One day, the old woman kills a soldier who was wearing a demon mask. She then uses the mask to keep her daughter-in-law from having sex with the creepy guy next door, because that’s apparently how problems were solved back then.

the good old days

the good old days

Fun (?) fact: When the old woman removes the demon mask from the dead soldier, she is greeted with a gruesome, disfigured face. The director has stated that the makeup effects were supposed to symbolize A-bomb survivors and how they were seen as outcasts.

My thoughts: I realize that I have seen a lot of foreign films lately, which has its pros and cons. On one hand, I’m getting to watch something that most people claim they know about, but really don’t. On the other hand, I have to be really cautious to remember that ‘foreign’ isn’t a genre of movie. As I watched Onibaba, I was reminded on several occasions of another Japanese film, The Woman in the Dunes. In reality, there really isn’t much the two have in common, except for their language. This project has become a bit more complicated as I am starting to reassess some of my views on movies.

Since I mentioned genre, I think it’s fitting to add that Onibaba  is considered a horror film to many people. That strikes me as odd because the mask doesn’t even show up until the last half to two thirds of the film. Most of the film is comprised of the daughter in law sneaking out of her hut to get with the creepy neighbor and the old woman being angry about it. I suppose that the first few scenes that show the woman killing the soldiers and then throwing them in a pit may seem scary, but I wouldn’t classify the whole film as ‘horror’. The mask itself was rightfully scary, especially when the daughter-in-law encountered it in the reeds and the final scene where the old woman finds she can’t remove the mask is also unnerving. But not a horror film ,in my opinion.

I'd say this demon was just bad at getting its picture taken, than scary

I’d say this demon was just bad at getting its picture taken, more so than scary

Another reason why I don’t believe Onibaba to be a horror film is because the movie doesn’t center on the mask, but instead the conflict between the two women. Hachi, the creepy neighbor returns from war at the beginning of the movie with bad news. His friend, the old woman’s son, and daugther-in-law’s husband, has been killed. As can be expected, everyone is sad about the whole affair, although not very long because Hachi almost immediately starts hitting on the daughter-in-law. She refuses him at first, mainly because that would be a jerk move, to see another guy while you are still living with your mother-in-law and your husband has only recently died. But soon, feelings overtake her and she starts sneaking out and having sex with him. Now if this had been a modern movie, we might have expected the old woman to sit the girl down and tell her to stop being a jerk. But of course, that’s not what happens. Instead, the old woman tries to convince the girl that a demon will get her if she continues seeing Hachi. The girl doesn’t listen because, you know, sex. So then the old woman tries to come on to Hachi and offer herself instead. He refuses because the old woman is kind of creepy. It just seems like a lot was done to keep the girl from seeing Hachi instead of actually talking to her. I found the situation much more amusing than scary.

On a different note, I am once again surprised by what was allowed back in 1964. There is lots of random nudity and of course sexual scenes. I’m pretty sure there is male frontal nudity as well because at some point the young couple just said ‘screw it’, and started running around naked to piss off the old woman. The scenes where the soldiers are killed are also violent, almost on par with what you might see today.

This actor really played up the role of 'creepy neighbor' more so than 'sexy man'

This actor really played up the role of ‘creepy neighbor’ more so than ‘sexy man’

Final review: 2/5. The movie ends when the old woman realizes that she is being punished for meddling in between her daughter-in-law and Hachi but also Hachi gets killed so everyone learns a valuable lesson about something. I wouldn’t sit through this again or even recommend it.

Up next: Cleo from 5 to 7 or Brazil

#61- Psycho

Quick recap: This is the one with the shower scene.

hqdefault

 

Fun (?) fact: Alfred Hitchcock tested how scary Mother’s corpse was by placing it in actress Janet Leigh’s dressing room and then hearing how loud she screamed.

psycho_mother_s_day_card_by_michaeljlarson-d651715

 

My thoughts: If I had to choose one movie that I am most ashamed to have never seen, it would be Psycho. It is one of those movies I know the entire plot and even some quotes, but until last night had never sat down to watch it. I think the two things that surprised me most were 1) Marion dying in the middle of the film (for some reason, I always thought it was at the beginning) and 2) how attracted I was to Norman Bates. I’m sure the latter will be dissected in future therapy sessions, but for now, I’m sure I wasn’t the only one with these thoughts.

and such a polite boy. A little stabby at times, but then again, aren't we all? and such a polite boy. A little stabby at times, but then again, aren’t we all?

In thinking further about my thoughts before and after the movie, the character of Marion confounded me more than anything else. I’m not sure what I had pictured her character would be-maybe just an unlucky woman who shows up at the motel, instead of what she turned out to be: A Woman of Ill Repute. Which is my favorite kind of woman, although the statistics aren’t that favorable for such a person surviving in a horror film. I think I actually said out loud, ‘she’s dead!’ when she stuffed the $40,000 into her purse. And as for that Infamous Shower Scene, I was ultimately underwhelmed. I suppose I have been desensitized to such violent scenes thanks to modern films and the news, but still, I was at least expecting a bloodier scene. Instead, the murder scene looked more like that time back in college when I was stupid enough to walk barefoot outside and then step on a shard of glass. I’m sure audiences of the 60s would’ve practically fainted if they had seen my dorm room that night. Marion also doesn’t do any good fighting back. She just screams and lets this guy stab her repeatedly. She is kind enough to turn around several times, though, and give Bates even more stabbing opportunities. What a gal.

The most legitimately scary part of the film was that Bates had kept his mother as a corpse. The corpse itself was also creepy, although it also reminded me of a dried apple. If the film had ended with Bates being caught, I would’ve been satisfied. After all, I mostly believe that evil needs no further explanation. I think the audience already assumed that Bates was dressing up as his mother and murdering people, so why spell it out further? Then again, this was the same audience who, even though this was a black and white movie, fervently believed they had seen red blood during the shower scene. And also, there were faintings during the showing of the film. As a side note, was fainting just a fashionable thing to do back then?Was it a way to woo a suitor? In either case, I’m glad we as a society have mostly grown up in that respect.

Maybe this should be a new category for my blog: Things that shouldn’t bother Mary, but they do. It really annoyed me that Hitchcock tried to pass off Norman Bates talking as his mother when it obviously wasn’t. I know he didn’t want to spoil the surprise, damn him, so he recorded women doing the voice instead of Anthony Perkins. But it also sort of ruined the explanation for me, that he was a schizophrenic who had become his mother, because obviously he didn’t inherit her vocal cords.

Final review: 3/5. I won’t say I was disappointed in the film, because it is very well made and Hitchcock is the master of suspense. But it also didn’t quite live up to the hype.

Up next: Woman in the Dunes

 

#56- Scream

Quick recap: Teenager Sidney Prescott, whose mother was raped and murdered a year before, is now being stalked by a sadistic serial killer (is there any other kind?)

 

Fun (?) Fact: In the scene depicting football player Steve’s death, a chair was used with no back so that the actor’s head could be seen, but with a fake torso.

My thoughts: Since this movie came out at around the time I was in middle school, it was shown at practically every sleepover I attended for the next couple of years. Although I don’t remember specific scenes, I do remember the sheer terror I felt while watching that movie. It would be several years before I would answer a phone when I was home alone, and to this day I still get anxiety looking out at my patio, just in case there is a gutted dead body. Besides all of the psychological torture, it was a movie that I couldn’t turn away from. Although I knew I would be scared and probably not be able to sleep that night, there was that accomplishment of having sat through the entire film without a complete break down.

Cellular phones are more trouble than they are worth

Cellular phones are more trouble than they are worth

Flash forward to today where I am an adult and thus beyond the average age of murdered victim in a horror movie. It’s not that I can’t relate anymore, but I suppose I now prioritize my fears. And on my list, a creepy mask just doesn’t cut it. Or at least, that’s what I thought before starting the movie. Director Wes craven is a master at building suspense and dread. Even though I knew what Casey would see when she turned on the porch light, a part of me was hoping that this time it might be different. I had apparently completely blocked out the scene where Casey herself had been gutted and left to hang from a tree because when that image showed up, I jumped so hard that I nearly threw the laptop off of my lap. And for some reason, that reaction also made me happy because I knew that for the next two hours, I would be entertained. Scream is the perfect blend of horror and comedy- with lines that are insightful, said alongside disgusting images of teens being murdered. I think one of the scariest scenes for me was the one where Sidney was in the bathroom and could overhear a couple of girls talking about her mom being a slut. Sidney walks out of the stall after the girls have left and then hears someone calling her name. She frantically looks under the stalls, but sees no one. She is beginning to get more panicked and then a pair of boots hit the floor and she can see the black robe being pulled over the pants. It frightened me completely that there was no way out, even though I knew what was going to happen.

Watching this movie also gave me a strong sense of nostalgia that I wasn’t expecting. Seeing all of the outfits really brought back my own memories of middle school and high school. Although I haven’t thought about it before, Scream and Clueless are great symbols for the ’90s. I mean, even Courtney Cox is in the movie! I especially loved the scene where everyone is in the movie rental store, taking all of the horror films. It has been forever since I have been in a Blockbuster and for a split second I realized how sad it is that my child will never get to experience that. But then I remembered that I was watching this movie on my laptop and that I have literally thousands of titles at my fingerprints.

So '90s!

So ’90s!

Final review: A solid 4/5. The ending,although I know it was a joke on the horror genre, grated on my nerves as everyone kept popping up from the dead. Also, in looking back from having seen this movie when it originally came out, how could I ever have thought Billy WASN’T the killer?

Scream-Billy-Loomis

 

Nightmares? Thankfully, no. I did however, run like hell upstairs after the movie was over. I also won’t be looking at the porch during the night time any time soon.

Up next: Alas, Horrorfest has come to an end. Next movie up should be Amélie, where I’m sure my two months of learning French will surely come in hand!