#290- Glengarry Glen Ross

Quick recap: Real estate agents race to close on deals anyway they can. First prize is a car, second prize is a set of steak knives and third prize is you’re fired.

Y’all got anymore of those good leads?

Fun (?) fact: From IMDb, ‘Every since its release, this film has been used to train real life salesmen how to sell and how not to sell.’

I have a new appreciation for Gil now

My thoughts: From the millions of career choices out there, I think sales sounds like the absolute worst. You may say, ‘But, Mary, what about the person who has to clean out septic tanks?’ Yes, that job is gross, but it wouldn’t send me into a panic like sales. I worked at an H-E-B back in college and just offering the sale item as people checked out was enough for me to have a panic attack. And before that,I worked at a pizza place where I was always encouraged to ‘upsell’ by offering a large for just a few cents more. Did I do even that most simple task? Nope. Sales is the worst. Case closed.

That’s why I loved watching a movie about salespeople because they are so drastically different than my life. Every character in Glengarry Glen Ross is the worst. There is literally no one to root for by the end of the movie. They spend the entire film out-slimeballing each other and it is so fascinating to watch. It also helps that the cast is phenomenal- Al Pacino, Jack Lemmon, Alan Arkin, Ed Harris and my favorite-Alec Baldwin, who I thought would be the villain, but who turned out to be a perfect motivational speaker. I’ve sat through sales pitches before and as frustrating as they are, now I can imagine the hoops they must be jumping through to get me to commit and what glorious prizes await if I just say yes (coffee’s for closers, you know).

I think what I loved most about the movie was that I kept thinking someone would snap and it just never happened. ‘Surely this will be the straw that breaks the camel’s back,’ I said over and over again, but the race to the bottom continued. And the best part is knowing that this was just one slice of a day for these real estate salespeople. How many times have they had these arguments? How many times have they conspired to steal leads? How many cars have been given away as incentives? It’s this perspective on the American Dream I can’t stop thinking about. It seems such a miserable existence and yet these guys live on it, thrive on it. And I’m so grateful I don’t have to do that for a living.

Final review: 5/5

Up next: Lone Star

#286- Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

Quick recap: An older couple invites a younger couple over one evening and it turns into a series of mind games and horrible secrets revealed.

Kirk: It could not be more simple, Luanne. You want me to show this to the cat, and have the cat tell you what it is? ‘Cause the cat’s going to get it.

Fun (?) fact: Bette Davis never said, ‘What a dump!’ like Martha (played by Elizabeth Taylor) said she did. She did, however, start saying it that way when she did her one-woman show.

How Elizabeth Taylor can make eating fried chicken look glamorous, I’ll never know

My thoughts: As someone who suffers from second-hand embarrassment on a daily basis, this movie was almost unbearable to watch at times. The other day, my cat Kiedis attempted to jump onto the counter but didn’t quite make it and I had to walk away because it was just that awkward. So, watching people fight, especially two amazing actors like Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton was like torture for me.

This movie is the very opposite of any #relationshipgoals you might have, and yet, Martha and George are doing something right to have stayed married so long. It was the young couple I originally banked on surviving until the end of the film, but now I’m not so sure. Martha and George are both destructive tornadoes and if you get close you will be destroyed. But together, since they are both tornadoes, I suppose they cancel each other out or something. It was fascinating to watch the destruction of both relationships and the lingering hope at the end.

Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf apparently stays very faithful to the play, written originally by Edward Albee. There are only 4 main characters and just a couple of different sets. Normally, this might be where I lament why this was ever turned into a movie, but I know the answer to that-the acting. Oh my god, the acting. It’s no wonder everyone was nominated for an Academy Award because all of them were phenomenal. I briefly considered finding if there was a production going on somewhere I could watch, but for now I’ll shelve the idea because if there’s no Elizabeth Taylor, I’m not interested. I haven’t seen enough of her work to ‘get it’ before, but after watching this movie, I don’t need any more proof of her greatness.

Final review: 5/5

Up next: Diner

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#275- No Country for Old Men

Quick recap: Llewelyn Moss is caught in a deadly cat and mouse game when he stumbles upon a drug deal gone wrong.

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But, like, more violent

Fun (?) fact: While filming in Marfa, Texas, shooting was halted for the day when a cloud of dark smoke came into view. It turned out to be a pyrotechnics testing for the movie There Will be Blood, which was filming nearby.

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Only the Coen brothers could find the most perfect haircut for a maniac

My thoughts: It’s no secret that I love the Coen brothers. Or maybe some people don’t know,but that would be a totally lame secret to have in the first place,tbh. Anyway, I love them and they can do no wrong, not even with Burn After Reading, which I think is underrated. No Country for Old Men is a different monster, though. Many of the same trademarks are there, but this film just feels different. It’s darker, more violent and less funny than their previous projects. And it is perfect.

I don’t use the word ‘perfect’ lightly, except for all those times I’ve used the word ‘perfect’ lightly. But that’s just what this film is. I can’t find fault in it, not that I’ve tried all that hard. Take the music, for example. There is none. At all. And with most other movies, this would bother me. Not this movie, though. No music really heightened the feeling of dread I got anytime Anton Chigurh was onscreen, and it felt as though he could be outside hunting me too. The scenery is another home run for me, not just because it’s in Texas, but it’s the most gorgeous part of Texas. I’ve been talking about a road trip to Marfa for years now and maybe subconsciously I’ve been thinking about this movie and that’s why I haven’t gone. It’s so desolate out there and perfect for just the sort of thing that played out onscreen.

But really, just like any good Coen brothers film, I’m in it for the characters. There isn’t a lot of dialogue, but there doesn’t need to be. I still don’t really understand the ending but I also kind of like that. It is what it is and it always will be that way. That’s good enough for me.

Final review: 5/5

Up next: the Sins of Lola Martès

#271- Planet of the Apes

Quick recap: An astronaut lands on a mysterious planet where Man is the inferior race, ruled over by Apes.

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Fun (?) fact: Actors were required to keep their ape-masks on at all times during filming because makeup took so long. As a result, lunch was mostly liquified and fed through straws. Yum!

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My thoughts: My gift to you, dear readers, is that I promise not to mention a certain ape who was cruelly taken from our lives just a few months ago in Cincinnati. EVEN though evidence suggests he was most likely an ape from the future, here to warn us about Man’s destructive path. #ripHarambe

Moving on, Planet of the Apes is probably the best B-movie that’s not supposed to be a B-movie. The main plot about apes ruling over Man is so ridiculous yet it works. There is SO much to laugh at: the overacting by Charlton Heston, the crazy rubber masks that creeped me out, and I still left the theater that night knowing that I had watched something truly profound.

As much as I hated Charlton Heston in this film, and BOY did I hate Charlton Heston, he was still the absolute best choice for the role. It’s his anger and impulsiveness that only remind the apes that they have made the right decision in reducing Man to a wild species, yet he was supposedly the ‘hero’ in all of this. It’s what makes this movie so much more than just a Science Fiction story- the idea that who we hail as ‘hero’ may actually be the opposite. I never really liked him to begin with, although that may also be because I knew about the big reveal beforehand. It could also be because I was really creeped out by his and Nova’s relationship. I mean, yes, she was a human, but in this future, she was basically a wild animal. And he wanted to restart society with her? I guess someone has to be the one to bite the bullet but on the other hand, ew.

Please hold me, you damn dirty apes. ( If you get this reference, I love you, whoever you are)

Final review: 5/5. I know the sequels are just plain ridiculous but now I want to see them

Up next: Vinyl

1001 Movie Nights

Tag Archives: 5/5

#290- Glengarry Glen Ross

#286- Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

#275- No Country for Old Men

#271- Planet of the Apes

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