#205-Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

Quick recap: A man finds out that the girl he made out with is really his sister. More family problems arise when he confronts his deadbeat father, hoping to change his ways before it is too late.

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Fun (?) fact: All of the Ewok actors quit at one point, in protest of the tough outdoor conditions (being a teddy bear with creepy lips is tough). They eventually returned, all wearing ‘Revenge of the Ewok’ t-shirts.

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My thoughts: Once again, I’m sort of at a loss as to what to write about the final Star Wars episode this book has (the editors wisely passed on adding in episodes 1-3). I realized while watching Return of the Jedi, that this might be my favorite of the three. I’ve always said it was Empire Strikes Back, because it’s so dark and there are so many important things that happen. This movie, however, is just fun, something that I think gets overlooked when it comes to the franchise as a whole (I’m talking to you guys who bombarded the Toys R Us and bought all the toys before kids could get their hands on them). This is the film that gets me excited for new movies, and it is the one I hoped my son would enjoy most, also.

One of the biggest turn-offs serious fans have are the Ewoks, and I admit that they are pretty silly. At the same time, they also fit in perfectly within the narrative. I never loved them, but I didn’t mind them, either. My six year old LOVES Chewbacca, so he naturally gravitated toward these creatures, and I think having them in the movie made him appreciate what he was watching a little more.

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As for a favorite scene or part, it’s a toss up between Jabba the Hutt and the Emperor trying to entice Luke to give in to his anger. Both scenes are a great representation of Luke’s character, and also how much he has matured since he was a whiny kid back in Episode IV. This is the hero that everyone wants, yet his greatest strength is not in himself, but the people (and family) he is surrounded by. I also loved the ending between Anakin and Luke. Yes, Darth Vader was evil, but that wasn’t always the case. In a positive light, it means that there is good inside all of us. In a negative light, it means any of us can head down that path without really realizing what we are doing.

Never mind. Darth Vader turned Incredible Hulk will always be my favorite thing.

Never mind. Darth Vader turned Incredible Hulk will always be my favorite thing.

Final review: 5/5 of course

Up next: Zero for Conduct, which If… is based off of

#204- Sunrise: A Song of Two Humans

Quick recap: Girls from the City are evil creatures who wreak havoc on everyone they come into contact with. Avoid at all costs.

She's stealing his soul!

She’s stealing his soul!

Fun (?) fact: The city scenes were all filmed on a set, not an actual city.

You mean they weren't really walking straight into traffic? Nothing is real anymore.

You mean they weren’t really walking straight into traffic? Nothing is real anymore.

My thoughts: Despite what my 1001 Movies book says, Sunrise is TOTALLY a melodrama. A farmer has an affair with a Girl From the City (she doesn’t have a name and neither does any other character), which crushes his perfectly sweet wife. He’s totally a jerk about the whole thing, even rushing out to meet her while his wife is cooking dinner. She puts it in his head that he needs to kill his wife during a boat ride, which is about as melodramatic as you can get. During the ride, the wife figures the whole thing out and manages to escape. She pouts for awhile when they get to the city because, you know, she was almost murdered and that can bring anyone down. The farmer continues to beg for forgiveness, at one point even offering her a whole plate of sandwiches. I’m not sure what was socially acceptable back then, but I imagine that most people would have a hard time getting over attempted murder with a plate of sandwiches. Anyway, while pouting, the couple heads into a church where a wedding is taking place. The farmer has a revelation that he shouldn’t have been such a jerk, and the two fall madly in love again. Awww.

Alexis Bledel is a time traveler, apparently.

Alexis Bledel is a time traveler, apparently.

But wait, there’s more! As the ‘newlyweds’ head back to their farm in the boat, a storm comes out of nowhere and irony upon ironies! the boat flips over and the Wife is presumed to be dead. I’ll admit that the film had almost won me over until this point, and then I lost interest because I’m just not a melodramatic kind of person. Thankfully, all of this happens at the very end so I didn’t have to endure for very long. And it was worth watching because the Girl From the City meets up with the Farmer, thinking he went through with the plan. She expects him to say that he’s ready to move with her, but instead he strangles her and it’s kind of awesome. And of course, the Wife was not actually drowned and was found perfectly fine. They all lived happily ever after, except for the Girl From the City who was strangled.

Silent films tend to be overally emotional due to the fact that the actors must physically show how they feel since they can’t say it. Sunrise is no exception, but it mostly worked for me and wasn’t annoying. In the beginning of the film, the Farmer walks around like his boots are made out of lead, to represent the struggles he is dealing with (mainly him being a jerk). I appreciated watching his unhappiness rather than just reading it on a title card. And as I stated before, the Wife is about as perfect as anyone can get, so there’s no mistake as to who is ruining the marriage (actually there is , because it’s 1927, so it’s the city girl’s fault and not the poor Farmer’s doing). The scenes where the husband and wife reconnect are pretty silly, but also seem genuine and I really enjoyed them. For a melodrama, there were many moments that could’ve been over the top, yet came across as sweet and innocent. Still not a fan generally, but this one was rather ok.

Final review: 4/5

Up next: STAR WARS

#203- Pinocchio

Quick recap: A wooden puppet comes alive and surprisingly doesn’t murder everyone in his sight.

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Fun (?) fact: In the original novel, Pinocchio murders Jiminy Cricket with a mallet. He pops up later on with little explanation given.

I'm feeling very uncomfortable right now

I’m feeling very uncomfortable right now

My thoughts: I decided to share Pinocchio with my 6 year old one evening, because there’s no better way to bond than to threaten a child with horrifying consequences if he doesn’t behave. Afterwards, I asked what he thought about it.

Me: How many points would you give this movie, out of 5?

B: 5, because of the cat.

Me: What was your favorite part of Pinocchio?

B: The cat.

Me: What was the funniest part of the movie?

B: When Geppetto thought Pinocchio was dead! Oh, and the cat.

The interview was abruptly shut down after that and off to therapy my son went.

So, besides learning how creepy my kid can be, I actually enjoyed the movie somewhat. The moral about being good was a little heavy handed, but that’s what was to be expected back then. Kids these days don’t know how good they’ve got it, with their soft themes of friendship and working together. Back then, all kids had was, ‘your nose will grow long if you lie, you’ll turn into a jackass and everyone you know and love will be swallowed by a giant whale.’

One thing I had forgotten about Pinocchio was all of the music Disney used to do with their films. I kind of enjoyed it, although my kid seemed a little bored through some of the numbers. He might’ve just wanted the cat back, though.

Overall, the only thing that really bothered me was the relationship between Geppetto and Pinocchio. I know that he wanted a son, but he had really only known the puppet for a few hours before he started getting into trouble. Maybe I’m just a bad person, but I most likely wouldn’t risk my life for a wooden puppet that had caused me grief for most of its short life.

I much prefer Egg Yolkeo

I much prefer Egg Yolkeo

Final review: 4/5, and I agree that the cat made the movie

Up next: Sunrise

#202- The Leopard

Quick recap: The Prince of Salina comes to terms with his diminishing importance during the late 19th century in Italy.

3/4 of the movie involves the Prince brooding in one fashion or another

3/4 of the movie involves the Prince brooding in one fashion or another

Fun (?) fact: Director Luchino Visconti didn’t like Burt Lancaster in the leading role (maybe because he plays Italian but in real life was Irish? sounds like that would be important). Anyway, Lancaster couldn’t put up with the mistreatment anymore and confronted Visconti, who was so impressed by his passion that they became BFFs 4-ever.

This look is more 'contemplation' than 'brooding', but still top notch.

This look is more ‘contemplation’ than ‘brooding’, but still top notch.

My thoughts: IMDb says that The Leopard is Martin Scorsese’s favorite movie. The 1001 Movies book calls The Leopard ‘a cult classic’. Even Giuseppe Tornatore (director of Cinema Paradiso) counts this film as his favorite, although that doesn’t mean too much to me because I didn’t love his film. Anyway, the point is that, on paper, this movie should’ve been amazing, but the reality is that I was underwhelmed. I feel guilty even admitting that, considering how many people hold this film in such high regard. And then I remember how divisive my review of Who Framed Roger Rabbit? was and realized that if I can make it through that, I can make it through anything.

I usually try and start with something positive here, and in this case, since this is an historical film, I wanted to at least praise the director for bringing to my attention this very famous person. Who, after a quick search on Wikipedia, does not actually exist and is merely a fictional character. So there goes my history lesson. I’m sure at least the time period was true but not the Prince or his family. I felt really dumb after learning this but really, I know next to nothing about Italian history so if this movie was about a pod of aristocratic whales storming Rome, I’d believe it.

It’s hard for me to put a finger on why I disliked The Leopard so much. The acting was great, not magnificent. And the plot was a little tedious at times but not excruciatingly drawn out. If I had to nail down a reason, I think it’s because I just didn’t care about these people. The Prince seemed like a good enough guy and it was sad to see his reign slip away, but at the same time, this is the aristocracy we are talking about, so there isn’t a lot of love there.The character of Tancredi, the uncomfortably beautiful nephew, confused me throughout the movie as I could never figure out where he fit in all of this. He and the Prince had a special relationship but I think he switched sides at some point and that probably wasn’t a good thing. There were many plot points I missed when I watched this because I had trouble grasping their significance.

But I can sympathize a bit with the concept of a fall from glory, especially if it is inevitable. The end scene where the Prince dances with Angelica, the daughter of his enemy, was beautiful and a perfect contrast between what things used to be and where they are currently.

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Final review: 2/5. Reading up on Wikipedia helped me understand the movie a little better, but there still isn’t much love there.

Up next: Sunrise, which has made me start humming the score from Fiddler on the Roof.