#158- Gomorrah

Quick recap: Gomorrah is a (faintly veiled) fictional look at what crime is really like in Italy. 

I can't say this is what I pictured

           I can’t say this is what I pictured

Fun (?) fact: ‘Gomorrah’ is a pun on the name of the Mafia type featured in the movie, the Camorra. Also, the writer whose work this movie is based on, is on permanent police protection because for whatever reason, the Mafia doesn’t really like people outing them and their illegal activities. Go figure.

not Camorra

not Camorra, although the stabby part is most likely true

My thoughts:  I, like most people, was brought up on the ‘Disney’ version of fairy tales where everyone lived happily ever after, like Snow White marrying her prince. Come to find out, most of those stories also contain some sort of fantastical violence like the Queen from Snow White being made to wear burning hot shoes as punishment and dancing until she dropped dead. So, a bit different from the cartoon version and kind of a shock upon learning the truth. This is how I felt after watching Gomorrah last night. I feel like I have been given a glossy version of mob life when the reality is much darker and bloodier.

In case there is someone reading this who is like me and only thought of The Sopranos when the word ‘Mafia’ is mentioned, there is more than one kind. The Mafia most people think of is the Sicilian Mafia, the dudes who have an order and wear nice clothes and perform hits on people. The Mafia this film shows is the Camorra, which is the hot mess of organized crime. The structure of the Camorra is built horizontally, which often leads to war between clans and lots of dead bodies in the street. On the upside (if there is such a thing), when bosses get arrested it doesn’t effect the group like it would in the Sicilian Mafia.

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So, as you can probably piece together, this movie was super violent. It didn’t bother me all that much until the end when I had gotten invested in the characters. There isn’t a main character in Gomorrah, but instead several characters that work within the mob. One of them is a young delivery boy who gets initiated into a gang while another is a tailor who is secret paid by the Chinese to teach them how to sew. I liked that the director didn’t go out of his way to make the characters interact with each other because many times I felt like I was watching a documentary rather than a fictional movie. I think this is also what increased my dread toward the end because I saw the characters as real people. When the deaths did occur it all seemed very realistic, as if I was watching a murder taking place on screen.

This movie certainly isn’t for everyone, but it opened my eyes to a part of the world I had not known up until this point. When I think of Italy, I think of beautiful ancient structures, amazing food and of course, the Mafia. What I have never thought about is the real people who live there, people who live in poor neighborhoods and who must join a gang in order to survive. This is the Italy the tourist books don’t want you to see. Then again, America has its own ‘dirty little secrets’ we sweep under the rug and hide away so that tourism will continue.

Final review: 5/5 although I don’t know if I could sit through it again.

Up next: hopefully Terminator 2

#157- Swing Time

Quick recap: A dancer, Lucky Garnett, moves to New York City in order to raise $25,000 to marry his fiancée. Instead he ends up falling for his dance partner and making a huge mess, although no one seems to care in the end.

and a little Blackface thrown in for good measure.

and a little Blackface thrown in for good measure.

Fun (?) fact: During the scene where Lucky sings ‘The Way You Look Tonight’, Penny (played by Ginger Roberts) can be seen washing her hair. After several attempts using egg whites, shampoo and various other ingredients, the director settled on whipped cream since it didn’t run down her face so quickly.

My thoughts: After being pleasantly surprised by Singin’ in the Rain, and maybe swooning a bit over Gene Kelly, I’ve wanted to see something by Fred Astaire. While both are talented beyond measure, it is Astaire who I have always thought of as the classier of the two, more likely to be found waltzing in a ballroom than tap dancing on top of some piano. I’m not sure if that belief still holds true after watching Swing Time, but Astaire is definitely classy.

Swooning may have happened a few times

Swooning may have happened a few times

When people sat down to watch this movie in the 30s, most people weren’t too concerned with the plot. Throughout the course of their career, Astaire and Roberts made a total of 10 films together so I’m not really sure how many scenarios there could possibly be for the two of them to dance and fall in love. At any rate, people came for the dancing and musical numbers. Think of it like porn, the 1936 version. I got a little confused at times as to what exactly was going on because I felt like I was watching an I Love Lucy episode rather than a movie. The chemistry between the two of them felt real, however, and charmed me despite the ridiculousness of it all.

Oh my god, the dancing. THAT is what it is all about. The first time the two of them dance is magical and I could watch it a million times without getting tired. These numbers, especially ‘Never Gonna Dance’ is what I think of when I think of Old Hollywood- ballroom dresses, tuxedos, diamonds. It’s just beautiful. I can’t imagine all the hours and pain the two of them went through to film this, yet they do the dances so effortlessly, like they were taking a stroll. The musical numbers themselves were catchy. Overall, a wonderful experience to see something like this.

Final review: 3/5. If it was just the dancing and singing I would have given it a 5, but the end of the movie is mainly everyone laughing for 10 minutes straight and the whole thing seemed ridiculous. Also, Fred Astaire’s character was kind of a jerk to Penny, in the 30s way of how men treated women.

Up next: Terminator 2

#156- Sex, Lies, and Videotape

Quick recap:  Sex. Lies. Videotape. Andie MacDowell’s sickingly sweet southern accent.

That’s pretty much it.

oh, and James Spader's flowing locks. Can't forget those.

oh, and James Spader’s flowing locks. Can’t forget those.

Fun (?) fact: Andie MacDowell wasn’t even considered for awhile because her last movie was called Greystoke: The Legend of Tarzan, Lord of the Apes.

Actually, I'd totally watch this. That ape looks like he is throwing down some mad wisdom.

Actually, I’d totally watch this. That ape looks like he is throwing down some mad wisdom.

My thoughts: Andie MacDowell has been in 3 movies on my list so far: Groundhog Day (I liked her alright), The Player (Meh.), and Four Weddings and a Funeral (NOPE.). Let’s see where she lands after this review!

First of all, the SEX. John is sleeping with Ann’s sister, Cynthia, and although I never saw the actual sex, I got to see them panting and sweating afterwards. So I assume it was good? Could also be because they live in Louisiana and if you’ve ever been there, you know that you sweat from the moment you wake up until you go to sleep. And then continue to sweat in your sleep. But anyways, the sex. Graham (played by James Spader) is not having any sex because he is impotent (caused by lies. More on that later.) so instead he just films girls talking about sex and then gets off. There were a few scenes where he is laying around naked and the way he looked made me wander if he maybe killed all these girls because that would be a great premise. I’ll end with a picture of a naked Peter Gallagher, covered by a potted plant. Do girls go for that?

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Now for the LIES. John is lying to his wife Ann and so is her sister and Graham kind of does too. It’s not really hard to see why Ann is in therapy because she is surrounded by horrible people. Well, I suppose Graham isn’t too bad because he used to be a pathological liar, but that made him impotent (is that a thing? I think he maybe should’ve gone to a doctor instead of diagnosing himself). I can’t think of any lies Ann told but she is so bland I’m not really sure what she would make up, except maybe saying she vacuumed a room when she didn’t. Moving on.

Finally, the VIDEOTAPE. So, this movie is one of those that wouldn’t exist if the internet had been around. Basically, Graham has a ‘fetish’ for videotaping women talking about sex. Yeah. Buddy, I don’t think you know what ‘fetish’ means. Throw in an octopus and clown shoes and now we’ve got something, but talking about sex? That’s just normal. In the end, he and Ann get together which is perfect because they are the most bland people on earth. What’s that you say? ‘but Graham wears black! He’s brooding! He’s complicated!’. No he’s not. He’s a guy who has trouble with intimacy so he watches bland porn. That’s it.

Final review: 2/5. I would’ve given it a 3 but I took off a point because Graham never had lemons for his iced tea. Savage.

I'm judging too, Andie MacDowell.

I’m judging too, Andie MacDowell.

Up next: Swing Time

#155- The House is Black

Quick recap: Lepers! They’re just like us! They eat, play with friends and have bricks stacked on top of their hands in an effort to relieve stiffening joints. So much like us, those lepers.

Bart: At Sunday school, they said the lepers were cured by some bearded dude. Homer: Jesus? Bart: Yeah, that sounds right.

Bart: At Sunday school, they said the lepers were cured by some bearded dude.
Homer: Jesus?
Bart: Yeah, that sounds right.

Fun (?) fact: Leprosy can be spread to humans from armadillos. Now I don’t feel so bad about all the ones I have hit in the past, and believe me, there were MANY.

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My thoughts: There really isn’t much to say about this film, partly because it’s so short and partly because it’s just footage of people with leprosy so I’ll  just look like a jerk if I make fun of them.  Along with the footage, the director reads her own poetry as well as a few bible verses thrown in for good measure. Most of the time it felt like I was back in the church I grew up in, watching a promo video from some missionary needing sponsorship. At any minute I thought some preacher was going to pop up and in his thick southern accent, beg us to ‘please think of the children’. I’m just thankful there wasn’t inspirational music in the background or it might’ve been too difficult to hold back snark.

Despite what I just wrote, I never felt like The House is Black was exploitive. The people living in the colony seemed truly happy and it made me especially glad to see a team of doctors and nurses taking care of them. I always thought people in leper colonies were cast off and forced to survive on their own but that’s apparently not true for everyone. The podcast Stuff you Should Know did an excellent show about leprosy a few months ago and it was there that I learned how tightly knit these groups can be. There was a famous example of a colony in Hawaii where, even after it was closed, people chose to stay because it was their home. I also learned that the disease is curable although its disfiguring effects can not be reversed. As sad as these colonies seem to us, they are able to provide a somewhat loving, normal life.

The scene that kind of derailed the movie was at the end when the teacher asked his students such enlightening questions such as ‘name something good (friends, play time)’ and then ‘name something ugly  (hand, foot)’. What the hell kind of lesson is this? And then he asks one of the children to explain why parents are important and the kid answers that he doesn’t know because HE DOESN’T HAVE ANY. Jeez. The title of the film comes from the teacher asking a man to write a sentence using the word ‘house’ and the man comes up with ‘the house is black’. So I guess they were studying grammar or ‘phrases you can use to totally make westerners feel even more sorry for you than they already do.’

MRW someone asks a stupid question.

MRW someone asks a stupid question.

Final review: 3/5.

Up next: Sex,Lies and Videotape